had a knock down drag out tonight (well via phone). if i mis-spell anything, i'll blame it on the alcohol and the fact that i don't have automatic spell check activated on Blogger.
my brain and heart hurts. trying to explain the person i am and the way that i am to someone who spent enough time around me to know, is difficult. if someone i care about asks me to do something, i do it... to the letter. you say leave you alone, without specifications, i'll do that. it may hurt, yes, but i will do it. in my drunken madness, i may slip (like i did tonight). i am still human. but honestly, it hurts that you won't even look at me. i don't have an attitrude with you. if u want to see attitude, look at how i treated our former boss when i found out that she betrayed me. that is a true Torublemaker Attitude. i have done everything short of dropping to the floor in front of you and giving you my future first born, to show that i care about you and what you are going through. i want things to be how they were when we were both comfortable with each other.
right now, yes, i am drunk. but i speak the honest to God truth when i have a few+ drinks in my system. i miss your easy laughter at the words that come out of my mouth and my antics. i miss the way we were together, easy and comfortable. i miss how we could look at each other and know what each other was thinking. now... you won't even look at me. i know that one thing i said earlier, but i mean it. like i also said, if i was throwing you attidude, it is not what it seemed to be. being censored and punished at work is something that i have to deal with on my own. being in debt, and having my mom cuss me out on an everyday basis weeks, is also something that i have to deal with on my own. i have no one, for me to lean my head on their shoulder, and count on for support. so i have been handling, finsding an apartment, moving, and taking a "L" in personality, at work, on my own. i shouldn't have to explain all of this to anyone, but i feel this situation deserves an explantion or some background information. i feel you deserve that much. like i told you, i know that my troubles don't compare to yours. not even trying to equate the two. but i am still the same person i always have been i just have shit on my mind, while before the worst i had to deal with was a stalker ex-boyfriend.
i never meant to hurt you in anyway. i think i have told you this many times. i withdraw into myself when i am working something out in my head and i have no one to turn to. i don't have my 3 best friends here and they get so busy that sometimes i can't talk to them for a month or so. i don't have my mom or any other family i can run to for comfort. for a long time, i had my ex. he was my rock of a shoulder. then i had to let him go and i now i have no one.
then i fell into you. or found you, whatever you want to call it. you understood. we were there for each other. then, in a flash, you were gone. and i didn't have that hidden strength anymore. like i tell those close to me, as if they didn't already know; i am not a strong person. i am strong when it comes to other people when they need me. but when it comes to myself, i am the complete opposite. i am emotional and sometimes,a wreck.
it is hard to reconcile the two parts of me. i stopped trying years ago. now, i just want to live to survive the current day and maybe see the next. all this stress and frustration makes me doubt myself and the person that i am.
right now, this is only a portion of what i need to get off my chest. but as my friend E would say, "at least some of it is gone and forgotten".
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
things that make me mad on an everyday basis...
-the Century Village (old people) that share the floor with my department. for many reasons.
1) why do they think it's appropriate to stand in front of the one microwave to have conversations? you are blocking the path to the coffee-maker and you're not even using the damned microwave! when i say excuse me, get the fuck out of the way. don't stare at me like i'm speaking Swahili or some other shit. I am about to put up a damned sign in the kitchen and hold mofos to that shit.
2) why do you feel the need to shush me and my coworkers on a daily basis? unlike your asses, we enjoy our jobs and have fun doing them. we are still young and still have lots of energy, so we don't want to pretend that we work in a library and have to fricking whisper every conversation we have with each other or our students.
3) when walking down the hallway, don't walk down the middle! we will treat the traffic areas the same way we do driving. keep to the fucking right and move along with the flow and speed of traffic! if one more damned old person cuts me off and moves at a pace slower than a snail, i swear i will run someone over. if you can't keep up, get the fuck out of my way (thanks Luda for the "move bitch" mentality!
-if one more person walks by my desk and asks me, "what do you guys do?" i am going to snap. since you are so involved with minding my damned business, read my fucking nameplate and tell me what it says. better yet, read it and keep that shit to yourself or pass the information along so another one of the retards doesn't ask me the same fucking question in about 15 minutes! we have been sharing the floor for 4 months now, so what you are basically telling me is that you haven't been paying attention or that your hearing aid volume is not turned up high enough and do me another favor, don't walk past me desk, back up and stare at me through the damned window. it is creepy and annoying. i am sure i'm not the first Negro you have seen that can speak proper english!
-please learn how to park between the little white lines! boy if i had my truck still, that shit wouldn't bother me. the bitch was paid off and i wouldn't mind a few "parking" scratches. plus my baby could take a licking and keep it moving. now, with the car, i have to drive to a whole different floor, to avoid your old asses who don't want to walk to the third floor. i'd better not find a fucking scratch on my car cuz you can't see over the steering wheel and don't know how to correct your parking mistakes without hitting something.
-the people who get all shocked and appalled when they find out that i smoke. yes i have to have my nicotine fixes. yes i know it's bad for my health. but since they won't let me drink on the job, i have to find another "work-appropriate" vice. if you don't like it, keep it to yourself or just don't speak to me. the day i find a stop smoking pamphlet on my desk, i'm going off.
that's all i can think of right now. i need a fix of nicotine before i go to bed.
1) why do they think it's appropriate to stand in front of the one microwave to have conversations? you are blocking the path to the coffee-maker and you're not even using the damned microwave! when i say excuse me, get the fuck out of the way. don't stare at me like i'm speaking Swahili or some other shit. I am about to put up a damned sign in the kitchen and hold mofos to that shit.
2) why do you feel the need to shush me and my coworkers on a daily basis? unlike your asses, we enjoy our jobs and have fun doing them. we are still young and still have lots of energy, so we don't want to pretend that we work in a library and have to fricking whisper every conversation we have with each other or our students.
3) when walking down the hallway, don't walk down the middle! we will treat the traffic areas the same way we do driving. keep to the fucking right and move along with the flow and speed of traffic! if one more damned old person cuts me off and moves at a pace slower than a snail, i swear i will run someone over. if you can't keep up, get the fuck out of my way (thanks Luda for the "move bitch" mentality!
-if one more person walks by my desk and asks me, "what do you guys do?" i am going to snap. since you are so involved with minding my damned business, read my fucking nameplate and tell me what it says. better yet, read it and keep that shit to yourself or pass the information along so another one of the retards doesn't ask me the same fucking question in about 15 minutes! we have been sharing the floor for 4 months now, so what you are basically telling me is that you haven't been paying attention or that your hearing aid volume is not turned up high enough and do me another favor, don't walk past me desk, back up and stare at me through the damned window. it is creepy and annoying. i am sure i'm not the first Negro you have seen that can speak proper english!
-please learn how to park between the little white lines! boy if i had my truck still, that shit wouldn't bother me. the bitch was paid off and i wouldn't mind a few "parking" scratches. plus my baby could take a licking and keep it moving. now, with the car, i have to drive to a whole different floor, to avoid your old asses who don't want to walk to the third floor. i'd better not find a fucking scratch on my car cuz you can't see over the steering wheel and don't know how to correct your parking mistakes without hitting something.
-the people who get all shocked and appalled when they find out that i smoke. yes i have to have my nicotine fixes. yes i know it's bad for my health. but since they won't let me drink on the job, i have to find another "work-appropriate" vice. if you don't like it, keep it to yourself or just don't speak to me. the day i find a stop smoking pamphlet on my desk, i'm going off.
that's all i can think of right now. i need a fix of nicotine before i go to bed.
how i'm feeling right now?
i can't put it into words, so i am gonna use what i know best... music.
sometimes i wish i could fly away
looking for a place to getaway
get away from all the heartache and pain
that life can bring
i really don't wanna sound
like i can't stand my ground
but everybody need some time
that they can getaway...
~Monica, Getaway
As long as I'm living
I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing
I'll be there
Whenever you call me
I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me
I'll be there
~Lenny Kravitz, I'll Be Waiting
I knew I hadn't met my match,
But every moment we could snatch,
I don't know why I got so attached,
It's my responsibility,
And you don't owe nothing to me,
But to walk away I have no capacity
~Amy Winehouse, Tears Dry On Their Own
I know what we have is dead and gone.
Too many times I made you cry.
And I don't mean to interupt your life.
I just wonder do I cross your mind?
~Ne-Yo, Do You?
for your love
I would do anything
Just to see the smile upon your face
For your love
I would go anywhere
Just you tell me and I’ll be right there
~Stevie Wonder, For Your Love
Tell me baby, did I push you away
Was I coming on to strong for you
Why can't you tell me, tell me what am I supposed to do
~Mary J. Blige, Changes I've Been Going Through
You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.
~Michael Buble, Everything
yeah... it's like that right about now. but i have resolved to move on, alone. there are other things i can be spending my time and energy on. least of all a man who continuously sucks me in and then makes me hurt all over again.
i know it's going to hurt, but i have to do it. for my sanity. for my health. and most of all, so my heart can heal and bewhole again.
sometimes i wish i could fly away
looking for a place to getaway
get away from all the heartache and pain
that life can bring
i really don't wanna sound
like i can't stand my ground
but everybody need some time
that they can getaway...
~Monica, Getaway
As long as I'm living
I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing
I'll be there
Whenever you call me
I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me
I'll be there
~Lenny Kravitz, I'll Be Waiting
I knew I hadn't met my match,
But every moment we could snatch,
I don't know why I got so attached,
It's my responsibility,
And you don't owe nothing to me,
But to walk away I have no capacity
~Amy Winehouse, Tears Dry On Their Own
I know what we have is dead and gone.
Too many times I made you cry.
And I don't mean to interupt your life.
I just wonder do I cross your mind?
~Ne-Yo, Do You?
for your love
I would do anything
Just to see the smile upon your face
For your love
I would go anywhere
Just you tell me and I’ll be right there
~Stevie Wonder, For Your Love
Tell me baby, did I push you away
Was I coming on to strong for you
Why can't you tell me, tell me what am I supposed to do
~Mary J. Blige, Changes I've Been Going Through
You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.
~Michael Buble, Everything
yeah... it's like that right about now. but i have resolved to move on, alone. there are other things i can be spending my time and energy on. least of all a man who continuously sucks me in and then makes me hurt all over again.
i know it's going to hurt, but i have to do it. for my sanity. for my health. and most of all, so my heart can heal and bewhole again.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
so i've been off my meds for about a week...
and i've been having the most random thoughts spill into my mind.
-why do people sing out-loud when they know that their voice really SUCKS? and yet still... they keep subjecting us (their unsuspecting audience, at work no less) to their vocal stylings. I have no damned control over what i say or do sometimes, so i'm trying my damnedest to not tell this chick to STFU! and just be the fuck quiet!
-why does a cold pickle taste so good after eating a patty melt? i may be a bit on the funky breath side, but who the fuck am i kissing, honestly?
-why do people choose to drive on I95, after 9:00pm with their freaking lights off? and then honk and cuss at you when you make every manuever possible to get in front of said idiot so that they won't KILL you on the highway?
-i'm so tempted to eat this little itty bitty carton of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream KNOWING that I am lactose intolerant. but fuck it, i'm gonna do it anyway. if i puke, i can hold it til i get home.
-sometimes i really feel like bringing a handgun to work for all the people who piss me off. i won't shoot anyone, but i would take extreme pleasure in pointing to them with it and cackling like the Wicked Witch of the West.
-my cousins are all going to be in Toronto this weekend, enjoying Caribana without me :( my fault, for being an intellectual midget and not taking care of business, but there will be lots of pictures to make me laugh this weekend.
-today is Wednesday and I feel like the Snoopy on my Typical Work Week Calendar. He is layin down on his stomach and begging to just let him die with a HUGE thunder cloud over him with lightning bolts coming out.
-i really don't like children. unless they are well behaved with only minimal bouts of madness and tantrums. if they are monstrous brats all the times, i feel like hanging them upside down by their ankles over a 10 story balcony and shaking the shit out of them.
i realize that most of these thoughts may be a bit violent and i can only preface that by saying that i have been remiss with keeping up with my drug doses and hopefully by tomorrow, i'll be on more solid ground, hopefully.
-why do people sing out-loud when they know that their voice really SUCKS? and yet still... they keep subjecting us (their unsuspecting audience, at work no less) to their vocal stylings. I have no damned control over what i say or do sometimes, so i'm trying my damnedest to not tell this chick to STFU! and just be the fuck quiet!
-why does a cold pickle taste so good after eating a patty melt? i may be a bit on the funky breath side, but who the fuck am i kissing, honestly?
-why do people choose to drive on I95, after 9:00pm with their freaking lights off? and then honk and cuss at you when you make every manuever possible to get in front of said idiot so that they won't KILL you on the highway?
-i'm so tempted to eat this little itty bitty carton of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream KNOWING that I am lactose intolerant. but fuck it, i'm gonna do it anyway. if i puke, i can hold it til i get home.
-sometimes i really feel like bringing a handgun to work for all the people who piss me off. i won't shoot anyone, but i would take extreme pleasure in pointing to them with it and cackling like the Wicked Witch of the West.
-my cousins are all going to be in Toronto this weekend, enjoying Caribana without me :( my fault, for being an intellectual midget and not taking care of business, but there will be lots of pictures to make me laugh this weekend.
-today is Wednesday and I feel like the Snoopy on my Typical Work Week Calendar. He is layin down on his stomach and begging to just let him die with a HUGE thunder cloud over him with lightning bolts coming out.
-i really don't like children. unless they are well behaved with only minimal bouts of madness and tantrums. if they are monstrous brats all the times, i feel like hanging them upside down by their ankles over a 10 story balcony and shaking the shit out of them.
i realize that most of these thoughts may be a bit violent and i can only preface that by saying that i have been remiss with keeping up with my drug doses and hopefully by tomorrow, i'll be on more solid ground, hopefully.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Confession and Apology
I've been listening to the Keith Sweat radio show a lot recently, and The Sweat Hotel's Confession Hour and The Apology Hour last night, got me to thinking. I do need to get somethings off my chest but calling into a nationally-syndicated radio show just isn't the thing for me to do.
My confession is that I want another woman's man. They weren't together when we hooked up and got to know each other better. But as everyone knows, well everyone who is privy to the situation, he went back to her for various reasons. For sometime, I thought that I had done something to chase him back to a situation he did not enjoy being in, but a conversation we had, changed all that. He just made the best choice for him or he did what he thought was best. I am not going to lie, I was hurt. I was fresh out of a long term relationship when I hooked up with him so being left alone, just felt like yet another roadblock to happiness. Seeing him, hurts. Watching him smile and laugh...takes me back to when things were fun and simple. There was a point where we had the talk...you know the one where I say that, “I don't care what you have going on, I'm here if you need me... for anything”. Yes, I offered myself up on a platter. I wasn't ashamed at the time, but seemingly being rejected does funny things to your mind. I've never been rejected before. I always get what I want and yes I know that there is a first time for everything, but I never expected to see open longing in a man's face and have him push those feelings aside. Do I still want him? The answer is unequivocally, yes. I care about him, the person, so much. I worry about him and I wonder what he's doing when I am not near him. Maybe this is something that I will eventually get over, but right now, it doesn't feel that way. It's eating me away on the inside that I felt the kind of happiness that people talk about, for such a short time, and it slipped out of my grasp so suddenly.
The apology, well that is a little bit more difficult. I apologize to him for doing everything possible to bring him back to me. I apologize for testing his relationship and his commitment. Most of all, I apologize to myself for behaving in a manner that is unbecoming of a lady (which I am trying my best to be). I acted like a street rat who didn't care about anyone but herself and conveniently ignored the feelings and thoughts of the other people involved. I behaved in a manner that I despise in other women and it is unacceptable. I feel sick to my stomach knowing that if he had relented, I would have been the catalyst in causing another person pain and suffering.
I resolve to let go. Let go of him, my feelings and any thoughts of us having a future together. I need some time to myself; to re-evaluate what I want out of this life. I need to get myself on the right track and hopefully by bringing my mistakes to light, I have taken the correct first steps.
My confession is that I want another woman's man. They weren't together when we hooked up and got to know each other better. But as everyone knows, well everyone who is privy to the situation, he went back to her for various reasons. For sometime, I thought that I had done something to chase him back to a situation he did not enjoy being in, but a conversation we had, changed all that. He just made the best choice for him or he did what he thought was best. I am not going to lie, I was hurt. I was fresh out of a long term relationship when I hooked up with him so being left alone, just felt like yet another roadblock to happiness. Seeing him, hurts. Watching him smile and laugh...takes me back to when things were fun and simple. There was a point where we had the talk...you know the one where I say that, “I don't care what you have going on, I'm here if you need me... for anything”. Yes, I offered myself up on a platter. I wasn't ashamed at the time, but seemingly being rejected does funny things to your mind. I've never been rejected before. I always get what I want and yes I know that there is a first time for everything, but I never expected to see open longing in a man's face and have him push those feelings aside. Do I still want him? The answer is unequivocally, yes. I care about him, the person, so much. I worry about him and I wonder what he's doing when I am not near him. Maybe this is something that I will eventually get over, but right now, it doesn't feel that way. It's eating me away on the inside that I felt the kind of happiness that people talk about, for such a short time, and it slipped out of my grasp so suddenly.
The apology, well that is a little bit more difficult. I apologize to him for doing everything possible to bring him back to me. I apologize for testing his relationship and his commitment. Most of all, I apologize to myself for behaving in a manner that is unbecoming of a lady (which I am trying my best to be). I acted like a street rat who didn't care about anyone but herself and conveniently ignored the feelings and thoughts of the other people involved. I behaved in a manner that I despise in other women and it is unacceptable. I feel sick to my stomach knowing that if he had relented, I would have been the catalyst in causing another person pain and suffering.
I resolve to let go. Let go of him, my feelings and any thoughts of us having a future together. I need some time to myself; to re-evaluate what I want out of this life. I need to get myself on the right track and hopefully by bringing my mistakes to light, I have taken the correct first steps.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
thoughts
yo i really can't get this dude off my mind. i think about him all the time. it's captivating how much i care about him, considering i couldn't stand him when we first met. but in the time we spent together, i got to know him, i felt a connection. it's like i know what he's gonna do/say/think before he does. but of course, anything that i want in this life... i can't have. he's got BM issues and me... well i can't deal with that shit again. my mind of course, the logical part of me, says to just leave it alone. but my heart is saying the opposite. i let him know that i'm thinking about him and that i still want him, but he has to handle his issues. i'm trying to avoid being that hood bitch who gets in the middle of anyone's family situation. but the attraction is there. i'm not saying he's the man of my dreams, but i haven't felt this infatuated with anyone in a very long time, prolly since my first real boyfriend, so it's hitting me real hard right now.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Music I'm currently into... for now
Music is a way of life for me. What I am listening to, dictates how I'm feeling. These are my current favorites:
Tessanne Chin "Hideaway"
Duffy "Mercy"
Adele "Cold Shoulder"
Cherish "Amnesia"
Tessanne Chin "Hideaway"
Duffy "Mercy"
Adele "Cold Shoulder"
Cherish "Amnesia"
Breath of Fresh Air!
his young lady, Jazmine Sullivan, has been captivating audiences lately with her sultry voice. I fell into her a couple of years ago when she remade Victoria Beckham's soung "Resentment". she made me cry listening to her talk about being betrayed (the original wasn't bad either, and neither was Beyoncé's remake), but Jazzy's version was hot to def!
Check out the first single off her debut album, due later this year. I believe it's called "Fearless"
Jazmine Sullivan "Need U Bad"
Check out the first single off her debut album, due later this year. I believe it's called "Fearless"
Jazmine Sullivan "Need U Bad"
Thursday, July 3, 2008
I blame you, Savvy!
thanks to my Thick-Blog-Partner-in-Crime, http://savvyfatty.blogspot.com/
01:What's a fact about the last person who texted you? Pain In My Ass!
02: Its 4 in the morning, and your phone rings.....and? i'm either gon get up and cuss a muthafucka out, or ignore the phone completely
03: What is your favorite thing to eat? chocolate ;)
04: Where was your default picture taken? on the Beach
05: Do u watch The Hills? WTH for?
06: What do you hear right now? typing and the A/C humming
07: What do you think your number 1 is doing right now? at work, tryna not choke a bitch
08: What’s your favorite thing to have on your bed? ohhhh, personal questions... nah buddy, ya ain't getting me on that one
09: Who would be the first person to know if you got pregnant? prolly the daddy; and he would know with a slap upside the head
10: What's the last thing you ate? Zapp's Spicy Creole Tomato chips
11: Can you sleep in jeans? hell naw
12: What is something you just don’t understand? how people can't read and write at the age of 30+
13: Where were you on July 4th, 2007? i honestly can't remember. i was drunk somewhere
14: Who was the last person you were in a car with? Sim
15: Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be? of course, always
16: Do you care what others think about you? naw! i don't give a fuck!
17: Do you think you'll be married in 10 years? if i find a man i don't wanna kill after a couple of months, maybe
18: Did you have a good day? it is, simply becasue it's almost over! thank Gawd for holiday weekends
19: What do you look forward to in the next 3 months? new apartment, new man... hopefully
20: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? not a muthafuckin one!
21: What was the last thing you laughed really hard about? that "I love you this much" photo withthe kid with no arms
22: When was the last time you got flowers? does my prom corsage count? if yes, then eons ago
23: Do you plan on moving in the next year? yes! i'm tired of these hood ass bastards
24: Do you like winter? fuck no! that's why i love the MIA
25: Do you regret anything? never!
26: Do you enjoy late night phone conversations? nah, i like my seleep and other nocturnal activities
27: Do you like to cuddle? only when it leads to nocturnal activities
28: Honestly, what's on your mind right now? bills, alcohol, dick (and any other related thoughts)
29: Honestly, how many people have you really liked in the past year? 2
30: Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you? prolly, but i don't give two shits
31: How late did you stay up last night? late, so late that i got to work after 9
32: Ever met a real life prostitute? does the hoe for the college football team count? if so, then yes
33: Are you going to grow apart from someone close? already have. he got so pissed that he moved away. hah!
34: Has anyone ever seen you in your underwear? plenty of people. i have a problem with clothing and i'm not ashamed of my roundness
35: Honestly, how many people have you completely fallen for? i have no idea... maybe 5
36: Happy most of the time? used to be. recently, i'm like "fuck the world"
01:What's a fact about the last person who texted you? Pain In My Ass!
02: Its 4 in the morning, and your phone rings.....and? i'm either gon get up and cuss a muthafucka out, or ignore the phone completely
03: What is your favorite thing to eat? chocolate ;)
04: Where was your default picture taken? on the Beach
05: Do u watch The Hills? WTH for?
06: What do you hear right now? typing and the A/C humming
07: What do you think your number 1 is doing right now? at work, tryna not choke a bitch
08: What’s your favorite thing to have on your bed? ohhhh, personal questions... nah buddy, ya ain't getting me on that one
09: Who would be the first person to know if you got pregnant? prolly the daddy; and he would know with a slap upside the head
10: What's the last thing you ate? Zapp's Spicy Creole Tomato chips
11: Can you sleep in jeans? hell naw
12: What is something you just don’t understand? how people can't read and write at the age of 30+
13: Where were you on July 4th, 2007? i honestly can't remember. i was drunk somewhere
14: Who was the last person you were in a car with? Sim
15: Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be? of course, always
16: Do you care what others think about you? naw! i don't give a fuck!
17: Do you think you'll be married in 10 years? if i find a man i don't wanna kill after a couple of months, maybe
18: Did you have a good day? it is, simply becasue it's almost over! thank Gawd for holiday weekends
19: What do you look forward to in the next 3 months? new apartment, new man... hopefully
20: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? not a muthafuckin one!
21: What was the last thing you laughed really hard about? that "I love you this much" photo withthe kid with no arms
22: When was the last time you got flowers? does my prom corsage count? if yes, then eons ago
23: Do you plan on moving in the next year? yes! i'm tired of these hood ass bastards
24: Do you like winter? fuck no! that's why i love the MIA
25: Do you regret anything? never!
26: Do you enjoy late night phone conversations? nah, i like my seleep and other nocturnal activities
27: Do you like to cuddle? only when it leads to nocturnal activities
28: Honestly, what's on your mind right now? bills, alcohol, dick (and any other related thoughts)
29: Honestly, how many people have you really liked in the past year? 2
30: Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you? prolly, but i don't give two shits
31: How late did you stay up last night? late, so late that i got to work after 9
32: Ever met a real life prostitute? does the hoe for the college football team count? if so, then yes
33: Are you going to grow apart from someone close? already have. he got so pissed that he moved away. hah!
34: Has anyone ever seen you in your underwear? plenty of people. i have a problem with clothing and i'm not ashamed of my roundness
35: Honestly, how many people have you completely fallen for? i have no idea... maybe 5
36: Happy most of the time? used to be. recently, i'm like "fuck the world"
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
me and these damned Surveys...
i swear i'm like a damned little kid with this shit!
i snagged this from : http://kalibaybay.blogspot.com/2008_05_01_archive.html
This is even more information about your Troublemaker Supreme :)
What time did you get up this morning? 10:00am
Diamonds or pearls? diaminds are a girl's best friend (and one of the best skrip clubs in SoFla!)
What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Wanted (shit was ker-azy!)
What is your favorite TV show?? i'm a sucker for murder/law enforcement shows (CSI, NCIS< Criminal Minds)
What do you usually have for breakfast?? does coffee count?
What is your middle name?? Alexis (i know, very white-girl ish)
What food do you dislike? vegetables
What is your favorite CD at the moment?? i have played out Lloyd's Street Love
What kind of car do you drive?? Nissan Altima
Favorite sandwich? a big fat juicy hamburger, does that count?
What characteristic do you despise? jealousy in bitches :)
Favorite item of clothing? my Old Navy nightgown, perfect for those late night smoke breaks on the patio
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?? anywhere where my family is, and the place better have somewhere i can escape to when they start to piss me off (like a bar)
What color is your bathroom? off white
Favorite brand of clothing? Nine West (for my shoes, of course)
Where would you retire to? ima prolly be one of those old biddies puttering around SB in a Buick
What was your most recent memorable birthday? damn, don't think i've had one of those recently. i think when i turned 22 i just got pissy drunk and went home with my BF at the time
Favorite sport to watch?? football
Person you expect to send it back first?? this is a blog dammit!
Favorite saying?? "i need a drink!"
When is your birthday?? June 30 (Cancer baybee!)
Are you a morning person or a night person? listen, i don't wake up until about 10:00am most days, so u can pretty much guess that i hate the early part of the day
What is your shoe size??? 6, i have midget feet
Pets?? hell to the naw! wait, does my ex-BF count?
Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? don't think so
What did you want to be when you were little? a laywer. i like to argue
How are you today?? cranky cuz i waited too long to have a cigarette and drink my coffee
What is your favorite candy? anything chocolate ;)
What is your favorite flower?? white roses and orchids
What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?? Christmas! i'm a big kid
What is your full name?? you have my middle name, that is enough
What are you listening to right now?? noise in the background
What was the last thing you ate? choclate covered expresso beans
Do you wish on stars?? naw, i live in the hood, we don't see those
If you were a crayon, what color would you be?? royal blue
How is the weather right now? beautifully warm
Favorite soft drink?? orange soda
Favorite restaurant?? Latin America Cafe
Hair color? reddish brown, at the moment
Siblings? yes, a munchkin
Favorite day of the year? Christmas
What was your favorite toy as a child?? i had a teddy bear who looked just likt the Snuggle bear
Summer or winter? summer
Hugs or kisses? both
Coffee or tea??Coffee
Chocolate or Vanilla?? Soy Dream Grean Tea Chai
Do you want your friends to email you back? this is a blog, people
When was the last time you cried?? last night
What is under your bed?? mind your own beeswax
Who is the friend you have had the longest?? HillyBean or Nae
What did you do last night? watched the Real World Hollywood
Favorite smell? chcolate
What are you afraid of? snakes and spiders
Salty or sweet? sweet
How many keys on your key ring?? 4
How many years at your current job? 1.5
Favorite day of the week?? Sunday
How many towns have you lived in? a shitload
Do you make friends easily? yes, but the trick is not letting shit get to you and just cutting folks off to keep your sanity!
i snagged this from : http://kalibaybay.blogspot.com/2008_05_01_archive.html
This is even more information about your Troublemaker Supreme :)
What time did you get up this morning? 10:00am
Diamonds or pearls? diaminds are a girl's best friend (and one of the best skrip clubs in SoFla!)
What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Wanted (shit was ker-azy!)
What is your favorite TV show?? i'm a sucker for murder/law enforcement shows (CSI, NCIS< Criminal Minds)
What do you usually have for breakfast?? does coffee count?
What is your middle name?? Alexis (i know, very white-girl ish)
What food do you dislike? vegetables
What is your favorite CD at the moment?? i have played out Lloyd's Street Love
What kind of car do you drive?? Nissan Altima
Favorite sandwich? a big fat juicy hamburger, does that count?
What characteristic do you despise? jealousy in bitches :)
Favorite item of clothing? my Old Navy nightgown, perfect for those late night smoke breaks on the patio
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?? anywhere where my family is, and the place better have somewhere i can escape to when they start to piss me off (like a bar)
What color is your bathroom? off white
Favorite brand of clothing? Nine West (for my shoes, of course)
Where would you retire to? ima prolly be one of those old biddies puttering around SB in a Buick
What was your most recent memorable birthday? damn, don't think i've had one of those recently. i think when i turned 22 i just got pissy drunk and went home with my BF at the time
Favorite sport to watch?? football
Person you expect to send it back first?? this is a blog dammit!
Favorite saying?? "i need a drink!"
When is your birthday?? June 30 (Cancer baybee!)
Are you a morning person or a night person? listen, i don't wake up until about 10:00am most days, so u can pretty much guess that i hate the early part of the day
What is your shoe size??? 6, i have midget feet
Pets?? hell to the naw! wait, does my ex-BF count?
Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? don't think so
What did you want to be when you were little? a laywer. i like to argue
How are you today?? cranky cuz i waited too long to have a cigarette and drink my coffee
What is your favorite candy? anything chocolate ;)
What is your favorite flower?? white roses and orchids
What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?? Christmas! i'm a big kid
What is your full name?? you have my middle name, that is enough
What are you listening to right now?? noise in the background
What was the last thing you ate? choclate covered expresso beans
Do you wish on stars?? naw, i live in the hood, we don't see those
If you were a crayon, what color would you be?? royal blue
How is the weather right now? beautifully warm
Favorite soft drink?? orange soda
Favorite restaurant?? Latin America Cafe
Hair color? reddish brown, at the moment
Siblings? yes, a munchkin
Favorite day of the year? Christmas
What was your favorite toy as a child?? i had a teddy bear who looked just likt the Snuggle bear
Summer or winter? summer
Hugs or kisses? both
Coffee or tea??Coffee
Chocolate or Vanilla?? Soy Dream Grean Tea Chai
Do you want your friends to email you back? this is a blog, people
When was the last time you cried?? last night
What is under your bed?? mind your own beeswax
Who is the friend you have had the longest?? HillyBean or Nae
What did you do last night? watched the Real World Hollywood
Favorite smell? chcolate
What are you afraid of? snakes and spiders
Salty or sweet? sweet
How many keys on your key ring?? 4
How many years at your current job? 1.5
Favorite day of the week?? Sunday
How many towns have you lived in? a shitload
Do you make friends easily? yes, but the trick is not letting shit get to you and just cutting folks off to keep your sanity!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)