Can't Get You Off My Mind

"I've got a pocket full of money
And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds
But then I think of loving
And I just cant get you off of my mind."
~Lenny Kravitz, "I Can't Get You Off My Mind"

You ever have one of those relationships... you know the one that stays with you forever? The one that defines the rest of your interactions with the opposite sex for the rest of your natural life? It boggles my mind that one person can affect you in so many ways. I have had both positive and negative relationships with men that has stayed with me over the years.

The negative first...
He was my first "adult" relationship. I was a freshman in college and infatuated with the star basketball player and the Kappa Alpha Psi Chapter President (simultaneously). He was the ex-teammate and close friend who laughed at my schoolgirl crushes. We hooked up and begun a relationship that was at best, turbulent. He cheated the entire time (with nothing but oogly girls) but still came home to me. Of course, it took me a good 5 months to find out. I stayed, out of love, but finally I had to leave. It is becasue of him, that I trust no man. He slept in the same bed with me for almost a year and still found the time and inclination to be with other females and felt he was doing nothing wrong. Apparently hurting my feelings and breaking my young heart was "nothing bad".

The positive...
He was the man that followed that disastrous relationship. Another friend, who went to a ddifferent college, but he was there for me through my heartbreak. I was attracted to him from day 1. I mean, who wouldn't be? He was chocolate brown, tall, dark, handsome and muscular. He was also sweet, caring, smart and insightful when needed. Amazing, huh? He was also 4 years older than I was and almost done with his Graduate Degree. I remember on one visit to see him, he introduced me to his friends, his teammates, and anyone we encountered. I was his "girlfriend" and the "love of his life". It seemed as if everyone knew about me. Apparently, he talked about me all the time. I smiled, laughed and blushed my way through the long weekend. Of course, there were the ones who came before me who still weren't ready to accept that he was no longer available. There were "confrontations" and he was by my side everytime. We eventually broke up a little while after he graduated, because I was still in school and partying was a way of life for me, and he was over the college life at that point. It broke my heart to let h im go. I think of him often. We are still friends, and catch up often. I tell peopel who knew us together, that he is my "Prototype". Everyone that came after him has been of the same mold, or close enough to it.

Negative and Positive... both were early on in my relationship history but still have a resounding effect in the way I view men in general. Which is the way it should be. I tell all my friends, that every relationship/situation/hook-up should be a learning experience. They should teach us not to make the same mistakes and what to look out for in a potential mate. My mistakes should not be your mistakes.