so i've slowly been vetting all the negativity (people and situations) out of my life. this includes other people's problems and those folk that make me uncomfortable or just not happy on a consistent basis. results? i feel a whole lot better. i guess years of absorbing other peoples' shit finally got to me and i snapped. when i say snapped, i mean nervous breakdown territory. crying, shaking, ranting and raving! now, i'm calmer, a lil bit more focused and taking care of me. i made a resolution to myself to only look out for those who look out for me. so a lot of people got left to the wayside, and that includes family.
i realized that when you are truly down at the bottom of the barrel, the ones that step up are the ones you can count on and those are the ones who DESERVE to be a part of your life. those who you have to continuously give second and umpteenth chances to... they need to step to the back of the line. some people may think that my actions are drastic, but honestly i don't fucking care.
not many people knew the depth of the issues i was going through. i had financial issues, safety issues, and family issues. i was at a point where i seriously considered taking my own life. but my mom's face was always in the front of my mind and i couldn't bare saddling her with the fact that she outlived her oldest child. that is honestly the only reason i never followed through with the thoughts i was considering.
now i could care less what people think of me and my actions. i'm finally focusing on me and the things that matter to me. now my only obstacle is letting go of the grief that has been in my heart for about 24 years and has been building since then. i am not one to show emotions publicly and i tend to box everything up and push it to the back of my head somewhere. it will be a process, but it's one that i am anticipating. it's a challenge that will make me a stronger person, mentally. it will also help me to open my heart again, totally.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
...don't be afraid, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you: when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, neither shall the flame kindle on you.
~Isaiah Chapter 43:1,2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you: when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, neither shall the flame kindle on you.
~Isaiah Chapter 43:1,2
Sunday, August 24, 2008
long, quiet weekend
took monday off, so i'm having a 3-day weekend. been fighting this fever/bug so i've pretty much in the bed watching movies and playing on the computer. also been watching my new tattoo heal. i think i'm done with the body modifications for now. nothing else meaningful to commemorate. plus i am running out of non-visible space.
been thinking a lot, which is bad, but i've been doing it anyway. gotta let some people go. gotta let a lot of things go. so i'm going to do exactly that. got to get some of these thoughts off my mind.
a lot of the stuff on my mind is truly random and i'm guessing that my ADHD levels are truly off the charts right now because i can't pay attention or focus on one thing to too long. that's probably why my mind always feels like it's racing.
so tomorrow i'm off work. going to finally get some work done on this new place. finish unpacking, put my clothes and shoes where they belong and finally get the rest of my shit out of the car! gotta make a few phone calls and pay a few bills. but by Tuesday, i should be well on my way to being settled... mentally and physically.
been thinking a lot, which is bad, but i've been doing it anyway. gotta let some people go. gotta let a lot of things go. so i'm going to do exactly that. got to get some of these thoughts off my mind.
a lot of the stuff on my mind is truly random and i'm guessing that my ADHD levels are truly off the charts right now because i can't pay attention or focus on one thing to too long. that's probably why my mind always feels like it's racing.
so tomorrow i'm off work. going to finally get some work done on this new place. finish unpacking, put my clothes and shoes where they belong and finally get the rest of my shit out of the car! gotta make a few phone calls and pay a few bills. but by Tuesday, i should be well on my way to being settled... mentally and physically.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
new tattoo is on the horizon... eventually
as i cross over into a new point in my life, it means that i need to mark it appropriately. have the design, just need to debate placement: behind the ear, on the nape of my neck (just below the hairline), or on the front of my left shoulder. i'll debate it a little more. my mom will prolly kill me, but i'm past living or trying to live up to people's expectations of what i should be doing with my life and my body.
Monday, August 11, 2008
up late with too much on my mind...
currently listening to... Eric Benet, You're The Only One
i actually logged into MySpace tonight and started looking around at people's profiles (on my Friends list). it is truly amazing to see the number of people i went to high school and college with, who have settled into the adult life. i'm talking marriage and children. house in the suburbs, 2-car garage and a dog. me, i'm running as fast and as far away as i can from that reality. i assume that i'm not the type to sit back and slow down. i always have to be on-the-go and busy as a bee. it is safe to assume that a life with a family is nothing but busy, but just the thought... gets my mind racing and pictures of a suburbian prison with picket fences instead of iron bars, pops into my head. that's not a knock on those who chose that life, but i am just not ready to take those steps, and i might never be.
currently listening to... The Game feat/Travis Barker, Dope Boyz
stress is a killer! it raises your blood pressure, causes headaches and body aches and can cause you to feel like you are losing your mind. is it ever a wonder in some homicide cases, the detectives come to the conclusion that the suspect "just snapped" under extreme pressures from life and work? some people deal with it in predictable ways: exercise, alcohol, drugs. there is also religion, the written words and confiding in friends/seeking advice. i seek solace in music. what i am listening to at any given moment, usually reflects my mood. if it's loud and obnoxious... chances are, i'm pissed off. if you hear some slow jams... i'm probably feeling melancholy. if it's upbeat... i'm in a normal, happy, perky mood. but if you hear some Luther or the O'Jays... look out now, cuz i'm in a sensual mood and someone is about to GET DA BIZNESS!
currently listening to... Mario, Music For Love
when this song came on, immediately my mind flew to the bedroom. i'm not one of those women who hides the kind of person they are behind closed doors, but i'm not an open book either. my close friends and i have conversations about all types of topics from across the sexual spectrum and i'm usually on the receiving end of questions (from technique, props and opinions on people). i have no problem sharing the knowledge i acquired throughout my life, but not everyone is privy to the little minute details in my life. these conversations, i think, keep me and my friends from a sheltered existence and also helps us open our minds to things that are out there that we may have never considered.
currently listening to... Ne-Yo, Let's Just Be
is there someone out there for everyone? is everyone destined to find the "one true love of this life"? do people still actively look for the person that they are meant to be with, or do they just go with the flow and hope that fate matches them up? i don't have an opinion either way on this topic, but i am not one to "look". i believe that you can't spend your life searching for something when you have no idea what it is that you are looking for.
currently listening to... The Ting Tings, Shut Up and Let Me Go
i actually logged into MySpace tonight and started looking around at people's profiles (on my Friends list). it is truly amazing to see the number of people i went to high school and college with, who have settled into the adult life. i'm talking marriage and children. house in the suburbs, 2-car garage and a dog. me, i'm running as fast and as far away as i can from that reality. i assume that i'm not the type to sit back and slow down. i always have to be on-the-go and busy as a bee. it is safe to assume that a life with a family is nothing but busy, but just the thought... gets my mind racing and pictures of a suburbian prison with picket fences instead of iron bars, pops into my head. that's not a knock on those who chose that life, but i am just not ready to take those steps, and i might never be.
currently listening to... The Game feat/Travis Barker, Dope Boyz
stress is a killer! it raises your blood pressure, causes headaches and body aches and can cause you to feel like you are losing your mind. is it ever a wonder in some homicide cases, the detectives come to the conclusion that the suspect "just snapped" under extreme pressures from life and work? some people deal with it in predictable ways: exercise, alcohol, drugs. there is also religion, the written words and confiding in friends/seeking advice. i seek solace in music. what i am listening to at any given moment, usually reflects my mood. if it's loud and obnoxious... chances are, i'm pissed off. if you hear some slow jams... i'm probably feeling melancholy. if it's upbeat... i'm in a normal, happy, perky mood. but if you hear some Luther or the O'Jays... look out now, cuz i'm in a sensual mood and someone is about to GET DA BIZNESS!
currently listening to... Mario, Music For Love
when this song came on, immediately my mind flew to the bedroom. i'm not one of those women who hides the kind of person they are behind closed doors, but i'm not an open book either. my close friends and i have conversations about all types of topics from across the sexual spectrum and i'm usually on the receiving end of questions (from technique, props and opinions on people). i have no problem sharing the knowledge i acquired throughout my life, but not everyone is privy to the little minute details in my life. these conversations, i think, keep me and my friends from a sheltered existence and also helps us open our minds to things that are out there that we may have never considered.
currently listening to... Ne-Yo, Let's Just Be
is there someone out there for everyone? is everyone destined to find the "one true love of this life"? do people still actively look for the person that they are meant to be with, or do they just go with the flow and hope that fate matches them up? i don't have an opinion either way on this topic, but i am not one to "look". i believe that you can't spend your life searching for something when you have no idea what it is that you are looking for.
currently listening to... The Ting Tings, Shut Up and Let Me Go
Sunday, August 10, 2008
long, hard week ahead...
still haven't unpacked half of my apartment
lots of work to be done at the office. i even have to clean my desk :(
STILL have to unload stuff out of my car
need to focus on getting some restful sleep
no hard liquor this week
need to figure out what i'm getting my sister for her 20th birthday
must prepare myself for my family's long vacation to Guyana without me (i am going to be a mess without my mom)
my big sister is in Panama for the week, so i really have no one to turn to when i have a nutcase moment
...maybe i need to take a vacation...
lots of work to be done at the office. i even have to clean my desk :(
STILL have to unload stuff out of my car
need to focus on getting some restful sleep
no hard liquor this week
need to figure out what i'm getting my sister for her 20th birthday
must prepare myself for my family's long vacation to Guyana without me (i am going to be a mess without my mom)
my big sister is in Panama for the week, so i really have no one to turn to when i have a nutcase moment
...maybe i need to take a vacation...
Thursday, August 7, 2008
yes i am drunk and blogging...
had a knock down drag out tonight (well via phone). if i mis-spell anything, i'll blame it on the alcohol and the fact that i don't have automatic spell check activated on Blogger.
my brain and heart hurts. trying to explain the person i am and the way that i am to someone who spent enough time around me to know, is difficult. if someone i care about asks me to do something, i do it... to the letter. you say leave you alone, without specifications, i'll do that. it may hurt, yes, but i will do it. in my drunken madness, i may slip (like i did tonight). i am still human. but honestly, it hurts that you won't even look at me. i don't have an attitrude with you. if u want to see attitude, look at how i treated our former boss when i found out that she betrayed me. that is a true Torublemaker Attitude. i have done everything short of dropping to the floor in front of you and giving you my future first born, to show that i care about you and what you are going through. i want things to be how they were when we were both comfortable with each other.
right now, yes, i am drunk. but i speak the honest to God truth when i have a few+ drinks in my system. i miss your easy laughter at the words that come out of my mouth and my antics. i miss the way we were together, easy and comfortable. i miss how we could look at each other and know what each other was thinking. now... you won't even look at me. i know that one thing i said earlier, but i mean it. like i also said, if i was throwing you attidude, it is not what it seemed to be. being censored and punished at work is something that i have to deal with on my own. being in debt, and having my mom cuss me out on an everyday basis weeks, is also something that i have to deal with on my own. i have no one, for me to lean my head on their shoulder, and count on for support. so i have been handling, finsding an apartment, moving, and taking a "L" in personality, at work, on my own. i shouldn't have to explain all of this to anyone, but i feel this situation deserves an explantion or some background information. i feel you deserve that much. like i told you, i know that my troubles don't compare to yours. not even trying to equate the two. but i am still the same person i always have been i just have shit on my mind, while before the worst i had to deal with was a stalker ex-boyfriend.
i never meant to hurt you in anyway. i think i have told you this many times. i withdraw into myself when i am working something out in my head and i have no one to turn to. i don't have my 3 best friends here and they get so busy that sometimes i can't talk to them for a month or so. i don't have my mom or any other family i can run to for comfort. for a long time, i had my ex. he was my rock of a shoulder. then i had to let him go and i now i have no one.
then i fell into you. or found you, whatever you want to call it. you understood. we were there for each other. then, in a flash, you were gone. and i didn't have that hidden strength anymore. like i tell those close to me, as if they didn't already know; i am not a strong person. i am strong when it comes to other people when they need me. but when it comes to myself, i am the complete opposite. i am emotional and sometimes,a wreck.
it is hard to reconcile the two parts of me. i stopped trying years ago. now, i just want to live to survive the current day and maybe see the next. all this stress and frustration makes me doubt myself and the person that i am.
right now, this is only a portion of what i need to get off my chest. but as my friend E would say, "at least some of it is gone and forgotten".
my brain and heart hurts. trying to explain the person i am and the way that i am to someone who spent enough time around me to know, is difficult. if someone i care about asks me to do something, i do it... to the letter. you say leave you alone, without specifications, i'll do that. it may hurt, yes, but i will do it. in my drunken madness, i may slip (like i did tonight). i am still human. but honestly, it hurts that you won't even look at me. i don't have an attitrude with you. if u want to see attitude, look at how i treated our former boss when i found out that she betrayed me. that is a true Torublemaker Attitude. i have done everything short of dropping to the floor in front of you and giving you my future first born, to show that i care about you and what you are going through. i want things to be how they were when we were both comfortable with each other.
right now, yes, i am drunk. but i speak the honest to God truth when i have a few+ drinks in my system. i miss your easy laughter at the words that come out of my mouth and my antics. i miss the way we were together, easy and comfortable. i miss how we could look at each other and know what each other was thinking. now... you won't even look at me. i know that one thing i said earlier, but i mean it. like i also said, if i was throwing you attidude, it is not what it seemed to be. being censored and punished at work is something that i have to deal with on my own. being in debt, and having my mom cuss me out on an everyday basis weeks, is also something that i have to deal with on my own. i have no one, for me to lean my head on their shoulder, and count on for support. so i have been handling, finsding an apartment, moving, and taking a "L" in personality, at work, on my own. i shouldn't have to explain all of this to anyone, but i feel this situation deserves an explantion or some background information. i feel you deserve that much. like i told you, i know that my troubles don't compare to yours. not even trying to equate the two. but i am still the same person i always have been i just have shit on my mind, while before the worst i had to deal with was a stalker ex-boyfriend.
i never meant to hurt you in anyway. i think i have told you this many times. i withdraw into myself when i am working something out in my head and i have no one to turn to. i don't have my 3 best friends here and they get so busy that sometimes i can't talk to them for a month or so. i don't have my mom or any other family i can run to for comfort. for a long time, i had my ex. he was my rock of a shoulder. then i had to let him go and i now i have no one.
then i fell into you. or found you, whatever you want to call it. you understood. we were there for each other. then, in a flash, you were gone. and i didn't have that hidden strength anymore. like i tell those close to me, as if they didn't already know; i am not a strong person. i am strong when it comes to other people when they need me. but when it comes to myself, i am the complete opposite. i am emotional and sometimes,a wreck.
it is hard to reconcile the two parts of me. i stopped trying years ago. now, i just want to live to survive the current day and maybe see the next. all this stress and frustration makes me doubt myself and the person that i am.
right now, this is only a portion of what i need to get off my chest. but as my friend E would say, "at least some of it is gone and forgotten".
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
things that make me mad on an everyday basis...
-the Century Village (old people) that share the floor with my department. for many reasons.
1) why do they think it's appropriate to stand in front of the one microwave to have conversations? you are blocking the path to the coffee-maker and you're not even using the damned microwave! when i say excuse me, get the fuck out of the way. don't stare at me like i'm speaking Swahili or some other shit. I am about to put up a damned sign in the kitchen and hold mofos to that shit.
2) why do you feel the need to shush me and my coworkers on a daily basis? unlike your asses, we enjoy our jobs and have fun doing them. we are still young and still have lots of energy, so we don't want to pretend that we work in a library and have to fricking whisper every conversation we have with each other or our students.
3) when walking down the hallway, don't walk down the middle! we will treat the traffic areas the same way we do driving. keep to the fucking right and move along with the flow and speed of traffic! if one more damned old person cuts me off and moves at a pace slower than a snail, i swear i will run someone over. if you can't keep up, get the fuck out of my way (thanks Luda for the "move bitch" mentality!
-if one more person walks by my desk and asks me, "what do you guys do?" i am going to snap. since you are so involved with minding my damned business, read my fucking nameplate and tell me what it says. better yet, read it and keep that shit to yourself or pass the information along so another one of the retards doesn't ask me the same fucking question in about 15 minutes! we have been sharing the floor for 4 months now, so what you are basically telling me is that you haven't been paying attention or that your hearing aid volume is not turned up high enough and do me another favor, don't walk past me desk, back up and stare at me through the damned window. it is creepy and annoying. i am sure i'm not the first Negro you have seen that can speak proper english!
-please learn how to park between the little white lines! boy if i had my truck still, that shit wouldn't bother me. the bitch was paid off and i wouldn't mind a few "parking" scratches. plus my baby could take a licking and keep it moving. now, with the car, i have to drive to a whole different floor, to avoid your old asses who don't want to walk to the third floor. i'd better not find a fucking scratch on my car cuz you can't see over the steering wheel and don't know how to correct your parking mistakes without hitting something.
-the people who get all shocked and appalled when they find out that i smoke. yes i have to have my nicotine fixes. yes i know it's bad for my health. but since they won't let me drink on the job, i have to find another "work-appropriate" vice. if you don't like it, keep it to yourself or just don't speak to me. the day i find a stop smoking pamphlet on my desk, i'm going off.
that's all i can think of right now. i need a fix of nicotine before i go to bed.
1) why do they think it's appropriate to stand in front of the one microwave to have conversations? you are blocking the path to the coffee-maker and you're not even using the damned microwave! when i say excuse me, get the fuck out of the way. don't stare at me like i'm speaking Swahili or some other shit. I am about to put up a damned sign in the kitchen and hold mofos to that shit.
2) why do you feel the need to shush me and my coworkers on a daily basis? unlike your asses, we enjoy our jobs and have fun doing them. we are still young and still have lots of energy, so we don't want to pretend that we work in a library and have to fricking whisper every conversation we have with each other or our students.
3) when walking down the hallway, don't walk down the middle! we will treat the traffic areas the same way we do driving. keep to the fucking right and move along with the flow and speed of traffic! if one more damned old person cuts me off and moves at a pace slower than a snail, i swear i will run someone over. if you can't keep up, get the fuck out of my way (thanks Luda for the "move bitch" mentality!
-if one more person walks by my desk and asks me, "what do you guys do?" i am going to snap. since you are so involved with minding my damned business, read my fucking nameplate and tell me what it says. better yet, read it and keep that shit to yourself or pass the information along so another one of the retards doesn't ask me the same fucking question in about 15 minutes! we have been sharing the floor for 4 months now, so what you are basically telling me is that you haven't been paying attention or that your hearing aid volume is not turned up high enough and do me another favor, don't walk past me desk, back up and stare at me through the damned window. it is creepy and annoying. i am sure i'm not the first Negro you have seen that can speak proper english!
-please learn how to park between the little white lines! boy if i had my truck still, that shit wouldn't bother me. the bitch was paid off and i wouldn't mind a few "parking" scratches. plus my baby could take a licking and keep it moving. now, with the car, i have to drive to a whole different floor, to avoid your old asses who don't want to walk to the third floor. i'd better not find a fucking scratch on my car cuz you can't see over the steering wheel and don't know how to correct your parking mistakes without hitting something.
-the people who get all shocked and appalled when they find out that i smoke. yes i have to have my nicotine fixes. yes i know it's bad for my health. but since they won't let me drink on the job, i have to find another "work-appropriate" vice. if you don't like it, keep it to yourself or just don't speak to me. the day i find a stop smoking pamphlet on my desk, i'm going off.
that's all i can think of right now. i need a fix of nicotine before i go to bed.
how i'm feeling right now?
i can't put it into words, so i am gonna use what i know best... music.
sometimes i wish i could fly away
looking for a place to getaway
get away from all the heartache and pain
that life can bring
i really don't wanna sound
like i can't stand my ground
but everybody need some time
that they can getaway...
~Monica, Getaway
As long as I'm living
I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing
I'll be there
Whenever you call me
I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me
I'll be there
~Lenny Kravitz, I'll Be Waiting
I knew I hadn't met my match,
But every moment we could snatch,
I don't know why I got so attached,
It's my responsibility,
And you don't owe nothing to me,
But to walk away I have no capacity
~Amy Winehouse, Tears Dry On Their Own
I know what we have is dead and gone.
Too many times I made you cry.
And I don't mean to interupt your life.
I just wonder do I cross your mind?
~Ne-Yo, Do You?
for your love
I would do anything
Just to see the smile upon your face
For your love
I would go anywhere
Just you tell me and I’ll be right there
~Stevie Wonder, For Your Love
Tell me baby, did I push you away
Was I coming on to strong for you
Why can't you tell me, tell me what am I supposed to do
~Mary J. Blige, Changes I've Been Going Through
You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.
~Michael Buble, Everything
yeah... it's like that right about now. but i have resolved to move on, alone. there are other things i can be spending my time and energy on. least of all a man who continuously sucks me in and then makes me hurt all over again.
i know it's going to hurt, but i have to do it. for my sanity. for my health. and most of all, so my heart can heal and bewhole again.
sometimes i wish i could fly away
looking for a place to getaway
get away from all the heartache and pain
that life can bring
i really don't wanna sound
like i can't stand my ground
but everybody need some time
that they can getaway...
~Monica, Getaway
As long as I'm living
I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing
I'll be there
Whenever you call me
I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me
I'll be there
~Lenny Kravitz, I'll Be Waiting
I knew I hadn't met my match,
But every moment we could snatch,
I don't know why I got so attached,
It's my responsibility,
And you don't owe nothing to me,
But to walk away I have no capacity
~Amy Winehouse, Tears Dry On Their Own
I know what we have is dead and gone.
Too many times I made you cry.
And I don't mean to interupt your life.
I just wonder do I cross your mind?
~Ne-Yo, Do You?
for your love
I would do anything
Just to see the smile upon your face
For your love
I would go anywhere
Just you tell me and I’ll be right there
~Stevie Wonder, For Your Love
Tell me baby, did I push you away
Was I coming on to strong for you
Why can't you tell me, tell me what am I supposed to do
~Mary J. Blige, Changes I've Been Going Through
You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.
~Michael Buble, Everything
yeah... it's like that right about now. but i have resolved to move on, alone. there are other things i can be spending my time and energy on. least of all a man who continuously sucks me in and then makes me hurt all over again.
i know it's going to hurt, but i have to do it. for my sanity. for my health. and most of all, so my heart can heal and bewhole again.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
so i've been off my meds for about a week...
and i've been having the most random thoughts spill into my mind.
-why do people sing out-loud when they know that their voice really SUCKS? and yet still... they keep subjecting us (their unsuspecting audience, at work no less) to their vocal stylings. I have no damned control over what i say or do sometimes, so i'm trying my damnedest to not tell this chick to STFU! and just be the fuck quiet!
-why does a cold pickle taste so good after eating a patty melt? i may be a bit on the funky breath side, but who the fuck am i kissing, honestly?
-why do people choose to drive on I95, after 9:00pm with their freaking lights off? and then honk and cuss at you when you make every manuever possible to get in front of said idiot so that they won't KILL you on the highway?
-i'm so tempted to eat this little itty bitty carton of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream KNOWING that I am lactose intolerant. but fuck it, i'm gonna do it anyway. if i puke, i can hold it til i get home.
-sometimes i really feel like bringing a handgun to work for all the people who piss me off. i won't shoot anyone, but i would take extreme pleasure in pointing to them with it and cackling like the Wicked Witch of the West.
-my cousins are all going to be in Toronto this weekend, enjoying Caribana without me :( my fault, for being an intellectual midget and not taking care of business, but there will be lots of pictures to make me laugh this weekend.
-today is Wednesday and I feel like the Snoopy on my Typical Work Week Calendar. He is layin down on his stomach and begging to just let him die with a HUGE thunder cloud over him with lightning bolts coming out.
-i really don't like children. unless they are well behaved with only minimal bouts of madness and tantrums. if they are monstrous brats all the times, i feel like hanging them upside down by their ankles over a 10 story balcony and shaking the shit out of them.
i realize that most of these thoughts may be a bit violent and i can only preface that by saying that i have been remiss with keeping up with my drug doses and hopefully by tomorrow, i'll be on more solid ground, hopefully.
-why do people sing out-loud when they know that their voice really SUCKS? and yet still... they keep subjecting us (their unsuspecting audience, at work no less) to their vocal stylings. I have no damned control over what i say or do sometimes, so i'm trying my damnedest to not tell this chick to STFU! and just be the fuck quiet!
-why does a cold pickle taste so good after eating a patty melt? i may be a bit on the funky breath side, but who the fuck am i kissing, honestly?
-why do people choose to drive on I95, after 9:00pm with their freaking lights off? and then honk and cuss at you when you make every manuever possible to get in front of said idiot so that they won't KILL you on the highway?
-i'm so tempted to eat this little itty bitty carton of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream KNOWING that I am lactose intolerant. but fuck it, i'm gonna do it anyway. if i puke, i can hold it til i get home.
-sometimes i really feel like bringing a handgun to work for all the people who piss me off. i won't shoot anyone, but i would take extreme pleasure in pointing to them with it and cackling like the Wicked Witch of the West.
-my cousins are all going to be in Toronto this weekend, enjoying Caribana without me :( my fault, for being an intellectual midget and not taking care of business, but there will be lots of pictures to make me laugh this weekend.
-today is Wednesday and I feel like the Snoopy on my Typical Work Week Calendar. He is layin down on his stomach and begging to just let him die with a HUGE thunder cloud over him with lightning bolts coming out.
-i really don't like children. unless they are well behaved with only minimal bouts of madness and tantrums. if they are monstrous brats all the times, i feel like hanging them upside down by their ankles over a 10 story balcony and shaking the shit out of them.
i realize that most of these thoughts may be a bit violent and i can only preface that by saying that i have been remiss with keeping up with my drug doses and hopefully by tomorrow, i'll be on more solid ground, hopefully.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Confession and Apology
I've been listening to the Keith Sweat radio show a lot recently, and The Sweat Hotel's Confession Hour and The Apology Hour last night, got me to thinking. I do need to get somethings off my chest but calling into a nationally-syndicated radio show just isn't the thing for me to do.
My confession is that I want another woman's man. They weren't together when we hooked up and got to know each other better. But as everyone knows, well everyone who is privy to the situation, he went back to her for various reasons. For sometime, I thought that I had done something to chase him back to a situation he did not enjoy being in, but a conversation we had, changed all that. He just made the best choice for him or he did what he thought was best. I am not going to lie, I was hurt. I was fresh out of a long term relationship when I hooked up with him so being left alone, just felt like yet another roadblock to happiness. Seeing him, hurts. Watching him smile and laugh...takes me back to when things were fun and simple. There was a point where we had the talk...you know the one where I say that, “I don't care what you have going on, I'm here if you need me... for anything”. Yes, I offered myself up on a platter. I wasn't ashamed at the time, but seemingly being rejected does funny things to your mind. I've never been rejected before. I always get what I want and yes I know that there is a first time for everything, but I never expected to see open longing in a man's face and have him push those feelings aside. Do I still want him? The answer is unequivocally, yes. I care about him, the person, so much. I worry about him and I wonder what he's doing when I am not near him. Maybe this is something that I will eventually get over, but right now, it doesn't feel that way. It's eating me away on the inside that I felt the kind of happiness that people talk about, for such a short time, and it slipped out of my grasp so suddenly.
The apology, well that is a little bit more difficult. I apologize to him for doing everything possible to bring him back to me. I apologize for testing his relationship and his commitment. Most of all, I apologize to myself for behaving in a manner that is unbecoming of a lady (which I am trying my best to be). I acted like a street rat who didn't care about anyone but herself and conveniently ignored the feelings and thoughts of the other people involved. I behaved in a manner that I despise in other women and it is unacceptable. I feel sick to my stomach knowing that if he had relented, I would have been the catalyst in causing another person pain and suffering.
I resolve to let go. Let go of him, my feelings and any thoughts of us having a future together. I need some time to myself; to re-evaluate what I want out of this life. I need to get myself on the right track and hopefully by bringing my mistakes to light, I have taken the correct first steps.
My confession is that I want another woman's man. They weren't together when we hooked up and got to know each other better. But as everyone knows, well everyone who is privy to the situation, he went back to her for various reasons. For sometime, I thought that I had done something to chase him back to a situation he did not enjoy being in, but a conversation we had, changed all that. He just made the best choice for him or he did what he thought was best. I am not going to lie, I was hurt. I was fresh out of a long term relationship when I hooked up with him so being left alone, just felt like yet another roadblock to happiness. Seeing him, hurts. Watching him smile and laugh...takes me back to when things were fun and simple. There was a point where we had the talk...you know the one where I say that, “I don't care what you have going on, I'm here if you need me... for anything”. Yes, I offered myself up on a platter. I wasn't ashamed at the time, but seemingly being rejected does funny things to your mind. I've never been rejected before. I always get what I want and yes I know that there is a first time for everything, but I never expected to see open longing in a man's face and have him push those feelings aside. Do I still want him? The answer is unequivocally, yes. I care about him, the person, so much. I worry about him and I wonder what he's doing when I am not near him. Maybe this is something that I will eventually get over, but right now, it doesn't feel that way. It's eating me away on the inside that I felt the kind of happiness that people talk about, for such a short time, and it slipped out of my grasp so suddenly.
The apology, well that is a little bit more difficult. I apologize to him for doing everything possible to bring him back to me. I apologize for testing his relationship and his commitment. Most of all, I apologize to myself for behaving in a manner that is unbecoming of a lady (which I am trying my best to be). I acted like a street rat who didn't care about anyone but herself and conveniently ignored the feelings and thoughts of the other people involved. I behaved in a manner that I despise in other women and it is unacceptable. I feel sick to my stomach knowing that if he had relented, I would have been the catalyst in causing another person pain and suffering.
I resolve to let go. Let go of him, my feelings and any thoughts of us having a future together. I need some time to myself; to re-evaluate what I want out of this life. I need to get myself on the right track and hopefully by bringing my mistakes to light, I have taken the correct first steps.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
thoughts
yo i really can't get this dude off my mind. i think about him all the time. it's captivating how much i care about him, considering i couldn't stand him when we first met. but in the time we spent together, i got to know him, i felt a connection. it's like i know what he's gonna do/say/think before he does. but of course, anything that i want in this life... i can't have. he's got BM issues and me... well i can't deal with that shit again. my mind of course, the logical part of me, says to just leave it alone. but my heart is saying the opposite. i let him know that i'm thinking about him and that i still want him, but he has to handle his issues. i'm trying to avoid being that hood bitch who gets in the middle of anyone's family situation. but the attraction is there. i'm not saying he's the man of my dreams, but i haven't felt this infatuated with anyone in a very long time, prolly since my first real boyfriend, so it's hitting me real hard right now.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Music I'm currently into... for now
Music is a way of life for me. What I am listening to, dictates how I'm feeling. These are my current favorites:
Tessanne Chin "Hideaway"
Duffy "Mercy"
Adele "Cold Shoulder"
Cherish "Amnesia"
Tessanne Chin "Hideaway"
Duffy "Mercy"
Adele "Cold Shoulder"
Cherish "Amnesia"
Breath of Fresh Air!
his young lady, Jazmine Sullivan, has been captivating audiences lately with her sultry voice. I fell into her a couple of years ago when she remade Victoria Beckham's soung "Resentment". she made me cry listening to her talk about being betrayed (the original wasn't bad either, and neither was Beyoncé's remake), but Jazzy's version was hot to def!
Check out the first single off her debut album, due later this year. I believe it's called "Fearless"
Jazmine Sullivan "Need U Bad"
Check out the first single off her debut album, due later this year. I believe it's called "Fearless"
Jazmine Sullivan "Need U Bad"
Thursday, July 3, 2008
I blame you, Savvy!
thanks to my Thick-Blog-Partner-in-Crime, http://savvyfatty.blogspot.com/
01:What's a fact about the last person who texted you? Pain In My Ass!
02: Its 4 in the morning, and your phone rings.....and? i'm either gon get up and cuss a muthafucka out, or ignore the phone completely
03: What is your favorite thing to eat? chocolate ;)
04: Where was your default picture taken? on the Beach
05: Do u watch The Hills? WTH for?
06: What do you hear right now? typing and the A/C humming
07: What do you think your number 1 is doing right now? at work, tryna not choke a bitch
08: What’s your favorite thing to have on your bed? ohhhh, personal questions... nah buddy, ya ain't getting me on that one
09: Who would be the first person to know if you got pregnant? prolly the daddy; and he would know with a slap upside the head
10: What's the last thing you ate? Zapp's Spicy Creole Tomato chips
11: Can you sleep in jeans? hell naw
12: What is something you just don’t understand? how people can't read and write at the age of 30+
13: Where were you on July 4th, 2007? i honestly can't remember. i was drunk somewhere
14: Who was the last person you were in a car with? Sim
15: Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be? of course, always
16: Do you care what others think about you? naw! i don't give a fuck!
17: Do you think you'll be married in 10 years? if i find a man i don't wanna kill after a couple of months, maybe
18: Did you have a good day? it is, simply becasue it's almost over! thank Gawd for holiday weekends
19: What do you look forward to in the next 3 months? new apartment, new man... hopefully
20: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? not a muthafuckin one!
21: What was the last thing you laughed really hard about? that "I love you this much" photo withthe kid with no arms
22: When was the last time you got flowers? does my prom corsage count? if yes, then eons ago
23: Do you plan on moving in the next year? yes! i'm tired of these hood ass bastards
24: Do you like winter? fuck no! that's why i love the MIA
25: Do you regret anything? never!
26: Do you enjoy late night phone conversations? nah, i like my seleep and other nocturnal activities
27: Do you like to cuddle? only when it leads to nocturnal activities
28: Honestly, what's on your mind right now? bills, alcohol, dick (and any other related thoughts)
29: Honestly, how many people have you really liked in the past year? 2
30: Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you? prolly, but i don't give two shits
31: How late did you stay up last night? late, so late that i got to work after 9
32: Ever met a real life prostitute? does the hoe for the college football team count? if so, then yes
33: Are you going to grow apart from someone close? already have. he got so pissed that he moved away. hah!
34: Has anyone ever seen you in your underwear? plenty of people. i have a problem with clothing and i'm not ashamed of my roundness
35: Honestly, how many people have you completely fallen for? i have no idea... maybe 5
36: Happy most of the time? used to be. recently, i'm like "fuck the world"
01:What's a fact about the last person who texted you? Pain In My Ass!
02: Its 4 in the morning, and your phone rings.....and? i'm either gon get up and cuss a muthafucka out, or ignore the phone completely
03: What is your favorite thing to eat? chocolate ;)
04: Where was your default picture taken? on the Beach
05: Do u watch The Hills? WTH for?
06: What do you hear right now? typing and the A/C humming
07: What do you think your number 1 is doing right now? at work, tryna not choke a bitch
08: What’s your favorite thing to have on your bed? ohhhh, personal questions... nah buddy, ya ain't getting me on that one
09: Who would be the first person to know if you got pregnant? prolly the daddy; and he would know with a slap upside the head
10: What's the last thing you ate? Zapp's Spicy Creole Tomato chips
11: Can you sleep in jeans? hell naw
12: What is something you just don’t understand? how people can't read and write at the age of 30+
13: Where were you on July 4th, 2007? i honestly can't remember. i was drunk somewhere
14: Who was the last person you were in a car with? Sim
15: Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be? of course, always
16: Do you care what others think about you? naw! i don't give a fuck!
17: Do you think you'll be married in 10 years? if i find a man i don't wanna kill after a couple of months, maybe
18: Did you have a good day? it is, simply becasue it's almost over! thank Gawd for holiday weekends
19: What do you look forward to in the next 3 months? new apartment, new man... hopefully
20: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? not a muthafuckin one!
21: What was the last thing you laughed really hard about? that "I love you this much" photo withthe kid with no arms
22: When was the last time you got flowers? does my prom corsage count? if yes, then eons ago
23: Do you plan on moving in the next year? yes! i'm tired of these hood ass bastards
24: Do you like winter? fuck no! that's why i love the MIA
25: Do you regret anything? never!
26: Do you enjoy late night phone conversations? nah, i like my seleep and other nocturnal activities
27: Do you like to cuddle? only when it leads to nocturnal activities
28: Honestly, what's on your mind right now? bills, alcohol, dick (and any other related thoughts)
29: Honestly, how many people have you really liked in the past year? 2
30: Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you? prolly, but i don't give two shits
31: How late did you stay up last night? late, so late that i got to work after 9
32: Ever met a real life prostitute? does the hoe for the college football team count? if so, then yes
33: Are you going to grow apart from someone close? already have. he got so pissed that he moved away. hah!
34: Has anyone ever seen you in your underwear? plenty of people. i have a problem with clothing and i'm not ashamed of my roundness
35: Honestly, how many people have you completely fallen for? i have no idea... maybe 5
36: Happy most of the time? used to be. recently, i'm like "fuck the world"
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
me and these damned Surveys...
i swear i'm like a damned little kid with this shit!
i snagged this from : http://kalibaybay.blogspot.com/2008_05_01_archive.html
This is even more information about your Troublemaker Supreme :)
What time did you get up this morning? 10:00am
Diamonds or pearls? diaminds are a girl's best friend (and one of the best skrip clubs in SoFla!)
What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Wanted (shit was ker-azy!)
What is your favorite TV show?? i'm a sucker for murder/law enforcement shows (CSI, NCIS< Criminal Minds)
What do you usually have for breakfast?? does coffee count?
What is your middle name?? Alexis (i know, very white-girl ish)
What food do you dislike? vegetables
What is your favorite CD at the moment?? i have played out Lloyd's Street Love
What kind of car do you drive?? Nissan Altima
Favorite sandwich? a big fat juicy hamburger, does that count?
What characteristic do you despise? jealousy in bitches :)
Favorite item of clothing? my Old Navy nightgown, perfect for those late night smoke breaks on the patio
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?? anywhere where my family is, and the place better have somewhere i can escape to when they start to piss me off (like a bar)
What color is your bathroom? off white
Favorite brand of clothing? Nine West (for my shoes, of course)
Where would you retire to? ima prolly be one of those old biddies puttering around SB in a Buick
What was your most recent memorable birthday? damn, don't think i've had one of those recently. i think when i turned 22 i just got pissy drunk and went home with my BF at the time
Favorite sport to watch?? football
Person you expect to send it back first?? this is a blog dammit!
Favorite saying?? "i need a drink!"
When is your birthday?? June 30 (Cancer baybee!)
Are you a morning person or a night person? listen, i don't wake up until about 10:00am most days, so u can pretty much guess that i hate the early part of the day
What is your shoe size??? 6, i have midget feet
Pets?? hell to the naw! wait, does my ex-BF count?
Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? don't think so
What did you want to be when you were little? a laywer. i like to argue
How are you today?? cranky cuz i waited too long to have a cigarette and drink my coffee
What is your favorite candy? anything chocolate ;)
What is your favorite flower?? white roses and orchids
What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?? Christmas! i'm a big kid
What is your full name?? you have my middle name, that is enough
What are you listening to right now?? noise in the background
What was the last thing you ate? choclate covered expresso beans
Do you wish on stars?? naw, i live in the hood, we don't see those
If you were a crayon, what color would you be?? royal blue
How is the weather right now? beautifully warm
Favorite soft drink?? orange soda
Favorite restaurant?? Latin America Cafe
Hair color? reddish brown, at the moment
Siblings? yes, a munchkin
Favorite day of the year? Christmas
What was your favorite toy as a child?? i had a teddy bear who looked just likt the Snuggle bear
Summer or winter? summer
Hugs or kisses? both
Coffee or tea??Coffee
Chocolate or Vanilla?? Soy Dream Grean Tea Chai
Do you want your friends to email you back? this is a blog, people
When was the last time you cried?? last night
What is under your bed?? mind your own beeswax
Who is the friend you have had the longest?? HillyBean or Nae
What did you do last night? watched the Real World Hollywood
Favorite smell? chcolate
What are you afraid of? snakes and spiders
Salty or sweet? sweet
How many keys on your key ring?? 4
How many years at your current job? 1.5
Favorite day of the week?? Sunday
How many towns have you lived in? a shitload
Do you make friends easily? yes, but the trick is not letting shit get to you and just cutting folks off to keep your sanity!
i snagged this from : http://kalibaybay.blogspot.com/2008_05_01_archive.html
This is even more information about your Troublemaker Supreme :)
What time did you get up this morning? 10:00am
Diamonds or pearls? diaminds are a girl's best friend (and one of the best skrip clubs in SoFla!)
What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Wanted (shit was ker-azy!)
What is your favorite TV show?? i'm a sucker for murder/law enforcement shows (CSI, NCIS< Criminal Minds)
What do you usually have for breakfast?? does coffee count?
What is your middle name?? Alexis (i know, very white-girl ish)
What food do you dislike? vegetables
What is your favorite CD at the moment?? i have played out Lloyd's Street Love
What kind of car do you drive?? Nissan Altima
Favorite sandwich? a big fat juicy hamburger, does that count?
What characteristic do you despise? jealousy in bitches :)
Favorite item of clothing? my Old Navy nightgown, perfect for those late night smoke breaks on the patio
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?? anywhere where my family is, and the place better have somewhere i can escape to when they start to piss me off (like a bar)
What color is your bathroom? off white
Favorite brand of clothing? Nine West (for my shoes, of course)
Where would you retire to? ima prolly be one of those old biddies puttering around SB in a Buick
What was your most recent memorable birthday? damn, don't think i've had one of those recently. i think when i turned 22 i just got pissy drunk and went home with my BF at the time
Favorite sport to watch?? football
Person you expect to send it back first?? this is a blog dammit!
Favorite saying?? "i need a drink!"
When is your birthday?? June 30 (Cancer baybee!)
Are you a morning person or a night person? listen, i don't wake up until about 10:00am most days, so u can pretty much guess that i hate the early part of the day
What is your shoe size??? 6, i have midget feet
Pets?? hell to the naw! wait, does my ex-BF count?
Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? don't think so
What did you want to be when you were little? a laywer. i like to argue
How are you today?? cranky cuz i waited too long to have a cigarette and drink my coffee
What is your favorite candy? anything chocolate ;)
What is your favorite flower?? white roses and orchids
What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?? Christmas! i'm a big kid
What is your full name?? you have my middle name, that is enough
What are you listening to right now?? noise in the background
What was the last thing you ate? choclate covered expresso beans
Do you wish on stars?? naw, i live in the hood, we don't see those
If you were a crayon, what color would you be?? royal blue
How is the weather right now? beautifully warm
Favorite soft drink?? orange soda
Favorite restaurant?? Latin America Cafe
Hair color? reddish brown, at the moment
Siblings? yes, a munchkin
Favorite day of the year? Christmas
What was your favorite toy as a child?? i had a teddy bear who looked just likt the Snuggle bear
Summer or winter? summer
Hugs or kisses? both
Coffee or tea??Coffee
Chocolate or Vanilla?? Soy Dream Grean Tea Chai
Do you want your friends to email you back? this is a blog, people
When was the last time you cried?? last night
What is under your bed?? mind your own beeswax
Who is the friend you have had the longest?? HillyBean or Nae
What did you do last night? watched the Real World Hollywood
Favorite smell? chcolate
What are you afraid of? snakes and spiders
Salty or sweet? sweet
How many keys on your key ring?? 4
How many years at your current job? 1.5
Favorite day of the week?? Sunday
How many towns have you lived in? a shitload
Do you make friends easily? yes, but the trick is not letting shit get to you and just cutting folks off to keep your sanity!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Can't Get You Off My Mind
"I've got a pocket full of money
And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds
But then I think of loving
And I just cant get you off of my mind."
~Lenny Kravitz, "I Can't Get You Off My Mind"
You ever have one of those relationships... you know the one that stays with you forever? The one that defines the rest of your interactions with the opposite sex for the rest of your natural life? It boggles my mind that one person can affect you in so many ways. I have had both positive and negative relationships with men that has stayed with me over the years.
The negative first...
He was my first "adult" relationship. I was a freshman in college and infatuated with the star basketball player and the Kappa Alpha Psi Chapter President (simultaneously). He was the ex-teammate and close friend who laughed at my schoolgirl crushes. We hooked up and begun a relationship that was at best, turbulent. He cheated the entire time (with nothing but oogly girls) but still came home to me. Of course, it took me a good 5 months to find out. I stayed, out of love, but finally I had to leave. It is becasue of him, that I trust no man. He slept in the same bed with me for almost a year and still found the time and inclination to be with other females and felt he was doing nothing wrong. Apparently hurting my feelings and breaking my young heart was "nothing bad".
The positive...
He was the man that followed that disastrous relationship. Another friend, who went to a ddifferent college, but he was there for me through my heartbreak. I was attracted to him from day 1. I mean, who wouldn't be? He was chocolate brown, tall, dark, handsome and muscular. He was also sweet, caring, smart and insightful when needed. Amazing, huh? He was also 4 years older than I was and almost done with his Graduate Degree. I remember on one visit to see him, he introduced me to his friends, his teammates, and anyone we encountered. I was his "girlfriend" and the "love of his life". It seemed as if everyone knew about me. Apparently, he talked about me all the time. I smiled, laughed and blushed my way through the long weekend. Of course, there were the ones who came before me who still weren't ready to accept that he was no longer available. There were "confrontations" and he was by my side everytime. We eventually broke up a little while after he graduated, because I was still in school and partying was a way of life for me, and he was over the college life at that point. It broke my heart to let h im go. I think of him often. We are still friends, and catch up often. I tell peopel who knew us together, that he is my "Prototype". Everyone that came after him has been of the same mold, or close enough to it.
Negative and Positive... both were early on in my relationship history but still have a resounding effect in the way I view men in general. Which is the way it should be. I tell all my friends, that every relationship/situation/hook-up should be a learning experience. They should teach us not to make the same mistakes and what to look out for in a potential mate. My mistakes should not be your mistakes.
And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds
But then I think of loving
And I just cant get you off of my mind."
~Lenny Kravitz, "I Can't Get You Off My Mind"
You ever have one of those relationships... you know the one that stays with you forever? The one that defines the rest of your interactions with the opposite sex for the rest of your natural life? It boggles my mind that one person can affect you in so many ways. I have had both positive and negative relationships with men that has stayed with me over the years.
The negative first...
He was my first "adult" relationship. I was a freshman in college and infatuated with the star basketball player and the Kappa Alpha Psi Chapter President (simultaneously). He was the ex-teammate and close friend who laughed at my schoolgirl crushes. We hooked up and begun a relationship that was at best, turbulent. He cheated the entire time (with nothing but oogly girls) but still came home to me. Of course, it took me a good 5 months to find out. I stayed, out of love, but finally I had to leave. It is becasue of him, that I trust no man. He slept in the same bed with me for almost a year and still found the time and inclination to be with other females and felt he was doing nothing wrong. Apparently hurting my feelings and breaking my young heart was "nothing bad".
The positive...
He was the man that followed that disastrous relationship. Another friend, who went to a ddifferent college, but he was there for me through my heartbreak. I was attracted to him from day 1. I mean, who wouldn't be? He was chocolate brown, tall, dark, handsome and muscular. He was also sweet, caring, smart and insightful when needed. Amazing, huh? He was also 4 years older than I was and almost done with his Graduate Degree. I remember on one visit to see him, he introduced me to his friends, his teammates, and anyone we encountered. I was his "girlfriend" and the "love of his life". It seemed as if everyone knew about me. Apparently, he talked about me all the time. I smiled, laughed and blushed my way through the long weekend. Of course, there were the ones who came before me who still weren't ready to accept that he was no longer available. There were "confrontations" and he was by my side everytime. We eventually broke up a little while after he graduated, because I was still in school and partying was a way of life for me, and he was over the college life at that point. It broke my heart to let h im go. I think of him often. We are still friends, and catch up often. I tell peopel who knew us together, that he is my "Prototype". Everyone that came after him has been of the same mold, or close enough to it.
Negative and Positive... both were early on in my relationship history but still have a resounding effect in the way I view men in general. Which is the way it should be. I tell all my friends, that every relationship/situation/hook-up should be a learning experience. They should teach us not to make the same mistakes and what to look out for in a potential mate. My mistakes should not be your mistakes.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Midwest Flood Victims
Alexae Dunn pets her dog Lady while sitting on a car surrounded by flood waters near her home Monday, June 23 in South Shore, Missouri. Forecasters say the Mississippi River appears to have crested in the northern parts of Missouri and would by June 25 in southern parts of the state and in Illinois. (JOE RAEDLE, GETTY IMAGES)
Baby Crocodiles (CREEPY!)
Crocodile offspring, part of 190 hatched in captivity two weeks ago, remain in a pond at the crocodile farm inside the San Carlos Technological Institute in Santa Clara de San Carlos in Costa Rica. According to biologists, one of the objectives of the project is the conservation of this species which is in danger of extinction. (YURI CORTEZ, AFP/GETTY IMAGES)
Monday, June 23, 2008
Ex-Boyfriend Rant
What is it about exes? Why is it that they keep coming around when you don't want them to?
The relationship may have been over for like 2 months or 2 years, but still they pop up when you least expect them to, talking some mess like, "I just wanted to see how you were" or "Do you miss me?" or "You were on my mind, so I decided to call". I mean dammitalltohellwithgasolinedrawson! It's over, dead and gone with for a fricking reason. Either me or you walked away from the situation for any number of reasons, but you still feel the need to call/show up and bother me.
I had my ex-boyfriend from freshman year call me 4 years later talking bout "I miss you and I realize that you were the best thing that happened to me". Umm okay! You left me for some random bitch that you met at a party, had a kid with her, bought a house with her... but I was the best thing that happened to you? Of course I lit into his ass. Had to drop some knowledge on some things that he missed over the course of the 1+ years were together and made him realize that I was better off.
Another ex decided to hook up with a chick with my name and then play the "I've moved on" card after a couple of years. Hated to break it to him, but your new chick has my name, she looks like me and from the MySpace page she decided to harrass me from, she behaved/acted/thought just like me, cept she was very young-minded. Maybe I was being childish when i told him that the dude I left him for was everythingI was looking for in a man, everything he was not... but I had gotten to the point where enough was enough! I got tired of ranting emails from this young chick and him doing his best to butter me up with midnight phone calls/text messages about how "good we were together."
The one that really gets to me is the most recent. I spent 2+ years with this man who bounced back and forth between me and his BabyMomma. Yes, I was stupid in love to let it go that long without kicking his ass to the curb. Finally did it tho... He accepted my decision, wasn't happy about it, but he dealt with it and we became reluctant-friends. Then he drops the bombshell! He FINALLY left her and wants to pursue a relationship with me, for real this time. Hmmm... at first, in a moment of stupidity, I considered it. But then I thought about it for a lil bit and realized that I would never be truly happy. This man put me through hell and back and when I finally get to a point where I can say that I am close to being over him, he wants to come back into my life and my heart. Nah Buddy!
Why can't people learn to let past partners go? Someone I met once said that dudes never want to let the one who "stroked them the right way" go. I laughed when I heard that, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Every relationship/situation should be used as a learning experience so that the same mistakes aren't made in the future. But damn if the men I have dealt with don't seem to get that point until I get mean or real damned cruel with them. I hate hurting other people's feelings, but sometimes it just has to be done.
Oh well! I'm going to have to begin another one of those difficult, "please just leave me alone and let it go" type talks.
The relationship may have been over for like 2 months or 2 years, but still they pop up when you least expect them to, talking some mess like, "I just wanted to see how you were" or "Do you miss me?" or "You were on my mind, so I decided to call". I mean dammitalltohellwithgasolinedrawson! It's over, dead and gone with for a fricking reason. Either me or you walked away from the situation for any number of reasons, but you still feel the need to call/show up and bother me.
I had my ex-boyfriend from freshman year call me 4 years later talking bout "I miss you and I realize that you were the best thing that happened to me". Umm okay! You left me for some random bitch that you met at a party, had a kid with her, bought a house with her... but I was the best thing that happened to you? Of course I lit into his ass. Had to drop some knowledge on some things that he missed over the course of the 1+ years were together and made him realize that I was better off.
Another ex decided to hook up with a chick with my name and then play the "I've moved on" card after a couple of years. Hated to break it to him, but your new chick has my name, she looks like me and from the MySpace page she decided to harrass me from, she behaved/acted/thought just like me, cept she was very young-minded. Maybe I was being childish when i told him that the dude I left him for was everythingI was looking for in a man, everything he was not... but I had gotten to the point where enough was enough! I got tired of ranting emails from this young chick and him doing his best to butter me up with midnight phone calls/text messages about how "good we were together."
The one that really gets to me is the most recent. I spent 2+ years with this man who bounced back and forth between me and his BabyMomma. Yes, I was stupid in love to let it go that long without kicking his ass to the curb. Finally did it tho... He accepted my decision, wasn't happy about it, but he dealt with it and we became reluctant-friends. Then he drops the bombshell! He FINALLY left her and wants to pursue a relationship with me, for real this time. Hmmm... at first, in a moment of stupidity, I considered it. But then I thought about it for a lil bit and realized that I would never be truly happy. This man put me through hell and back and when I finally get to a point where I can say that I am close to being over him, he wants to come back into my life and my heart. Nah Buddy!
Why can't people learn to let past partners go? Someone I met once said that dudes never want to let the one who "stroked them the right way" go. I laughed when I heard that, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Every relationship/situation should be used as a learning experience so that the same mistakes aren't made in the future. But damn if the men I have dealt with don't seem to get that point until I get mean or real damned cruel with them. I hate hurting other people's feelings, but sometimes it just has to be done.
Oh well! I'm going to have to begin another one of those difficult, "please just leave me alone and let it go" type talks.
MeMe'd - Love and Affection
i'm gonna do this MEME thing that i saw over at "Two Ditzy Broads" http://twoditzybroads.blogspot.com/2008/06/memed-juicy.html
This is how this "Meme" test is about to go down.
1. Put your Music Player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 3 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the MEME themselves!
-IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Teenage Love Affair - Alicia Keys
-WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Love Is A Losing Game - Amy Winehouse (man, listen!)
-WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Lollipop - Lil Wayne ;)
-HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Id Rather Be With You - Bootsy Collins (so damned true!)
-WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? Amnesia - Cherish
-WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Girls Around The World - Lloyd feat/ Lil Wayne (of course the opposite)
-WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Come With Me - Shai
-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? Hideaway - Tessanne Chin
-WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Player's Prayer - Lloyd
-WHAT IS 2+2? Dangerous - Kardinal Offishall feat/ Akon
-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Waiting In Vain - Floetry (true, miss you!)
-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? You Know Me - 2 Pistols feat/ Ray J
-WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Rain - Razah
-WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Hurt Again - Mary J. Bloge (makes no damned sense)
-WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Bust It Baby - Plies feat/ NeYo (haha!)
-WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Missin' You - Trey Songz
-WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Closer - NeYo
-WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Take A Bow - Rihanna
-WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? No Te Veo - Jowell y Randy feat/ Pitbull
-WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Eff Tha Otha Side - Dunk Ryders feat/ Trick Daddy
-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Let Me Think About It - Ida Corr meets Fedde Le Grand
-WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? Love And Affection - Pressure
This is how this "Meme" test is about to go down.
1. Put your Music Player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 3 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the MEME themselves!
-IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Teenage Love Affair - Alicia Keys
-WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Love Is A Losing Game - Amy Winehouse (man, listen!)
-WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Lollipop - Lil Wayne ;)
-HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Id Rather Be With You - Bootsy Collins (so damned true!)
-WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? Amnesia - Cherish
-WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Girls Around The World - Lloyd feat/ Lil Wayne (of course the opposite)
-WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Come With Me - Shai
-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? Hideaway - Tessanne Chin
-WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Player's Prayer - Lloyd
-WHAT IS 2+2? Dangerous - Kardinal Offishall feat/ Akon
-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Waiting In Vain - Floetry (true, miss you!)
-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? You Know Me - 2 Pistols feat/ Ray J
-WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Rain - Razah
-WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Hurt Again - Mary J. Bloge (makes no damned sense)
-WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Bust It Baby - Plies feat/ NeYo (haha!)
-WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Missin' You - Trey Songz
-WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Closer - NeYo
-WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Take A Bow - Rihanna
-WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? No Te Veo - Jowell y Randy feat/ Pitbull
-WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Eff Tha Otha Side - Dunk Ryders feat/ Trick Daddy
-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Let Me Think About It - Ida Corr meets Fedde Le Grand
-WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? Love And Affection - Pressure
Friday, June 20, 2008
Drunk Beyond All Reason
So it is Friday...
I remember one Friday, not to long ago. I was moving to a new position at my job and I had pretty much given up on working for the rest of the day. My simple ass decided to go have a few drinks during my break and not haven eaten anything since breakfast, I was a little toasted that afternoon. After work, I decided to go back to the bar with a group of friends and proceeded to drink almost $100 in liquor, by my damned self. Here is what I remember drinking:
at least 6 Lemon Drops
2 Blue Long Island Iced Teas
1 shot of Jagermeister
1 shot of something called Liquid Cocaine
at least 2 Tequila Sunrises
and of course, 2 shots of Patron Silver
Clearly, I was passed out drunk by 1:30am. Where was I you ask? I was in the bathroom. I was totally fine, until I sat down to pee. After waking up the next afternoon, I was informed that I was truly the life of the party. I danced with everyone, molested 2 friends of mine (1 male, 1 female), propositioned a few folks and at one point, decided that I was a stripper and proceeded to dance like I was one.
Honestly, I don't remember most of the night. The memories are fuzzy and I think that is only because people told me what I had been doing/saying. Luckily, I was with friends. They made sure that I wasn't around people who would take advantage of my inebriated state, and when I was finally down for the count, they got me out of there faster than the Road Runner could say “Meep, Meep”, to Wiley Coyote.
I made a promise to myself to never ever get that drunk again. I hated the feeling that I had lost 12 hours of my life and I had no idea what went on the night before. You know that things were out of control when the bartenders all know my name now.
Lesson learned: always drink amongst people you know, don't mix your liquors and always EAT SOMETHING!
I remember one Friday, not to long ago. I was moving to a new position at my job and I had pretty much given up on working for the rest of the day. My simple ass decided to go have a few drinks during my break and not haven eaten anything since breakfast, I was a little toasted that afternoon. After work, I decided to go back to the bar with a group of friends and proceeded to drink almost $100 in liquor, by my damned self. Here is what I remember drinking:
at least 6 Lemon Drops
2 Blue Long Island Iced Teas
1 shot of Jagermeister
1 shot of something called Liquid Cocaine
at least 2 Tequila Sunrises
and of course, 2 shots of Patron Silver
Clearly, I was passed out drunk by 1:30am. Where was I you ask? I was in the bathroom. I was totally fine, until I sat down to pee. After waking up the next afternoon, I was informed that I was truly the life of the party. I danced with everyone, molested 2 friends of mine (1 male, 1 female), propositioned a few folks and at one point, decided that I was a stripper and proceeded to dance like I was one.
Honestly, I don't remember most of the night. The memories are fuzzy and I think that is only because people told me what I had been doing/saying. Luckily, I was with friends. They made sure that I wasn't around people who would take advantage of my inebriated state, and when I was finally down for the count, they got me out of there faster than the Road Runner could say “Meep, Meep”, to Wiley Coyote.
I made a promise to myself to never ever get that drunk again. I hated the feeling that I had lost 12 hours of my life and I had no idea what went on the night before. You know that things were out of control when the bartenders all know my name now.
Lesson learned: always drink amongst people you know, don't mix your liquors and always EAT SOMETHING!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Plans for my Future (in blogging at least)
So I'm beginning to think about the future. Well not "beginning" exactly. Just focusing more on what I want out of this life.
So in my moment of wisdom, I decided to blog more. Get some of these thoughts down and out of my head for everyone to see. Crazy, right? Anywho, so I am deciding how the blog should be set up, a kind of pattern if you may.
(Ranting Mondays)
Mondays will be my ranting day. The weekend is usually when I am at my nuttiest so all types of random shit crosses my mind. So I will be typing it all down to share.
(Picture of the Week Tuesdays)
This is when I will display a picture that I have fallen in love with over the past week. It may be funny, it may be serious, or just simply retarded. The first installment shows a picture of Hurricane Andrew right before the eye made landfall on August 24, 1992. I was not in Florida for Andrew's wrath, but close friends of mine were and some parts of Homestead, Florida have not recovered, still. Some pictures may have a personal significance, like the Andrew Picture.
(Hump Day Wednesdays)
Folks hear the word “hump” and they tend to think about sex. So I will try to discuss a sex-related topic on Wednesdays. If you are faint of heart and/or stomach, you may want to skip Wednesdays.
(Almost There Thursdays)
This is when the great day of Friday looms. So I will probably try to make that day fun and light-hearted. No serious talk unless something comes up that warrants it.
(Drunken Fridays)
the weekend is finally upon us, so the topic of the day will most likely be related to partying and drinking or just plain-ole debauchery :)
Weekends are me-time, so unless something major comes up, I won't be blogging.
Now let's see if I can stick to this plan.
So in my moment of wisdom, I decided to blog more. Get some of these thoughts down and out of my head for everyone to see. Crazy, right? Anywho, so I am deciding how the blog should be set up, a kind of pattern if you may.
(Ranting Mondays)
Mondays will be my ranting day. The weekend is usually when I am at my nuttiest so all types of random shit crosses my mind. So I will be typing it all down to share.
(Picture of the Week Tuesdays)
This is when I will display a picture that I have fallen in love with over the past week. It may be funny, it may be serious, or just simply retarded. The first installment shows a picture of Hurricane Andrew right before the eye made landfall on August 24, 1992. I was not in Florida for Andrew's wrath, but close friends of mine were and some parts of Homestead, Florida have not recovered, still. Some pictures may have a personal significance, like the Andrew Picture.
(Hump Day Wednesdays)
Folks hear the word “hump” and they tend to think about sex. So I will try to discuss a sex-related topic on Wednesdays. If you are faint of heart and/or stomach, you may want to skip Wednesdays.
(Almost There Thursdays)
This is when the great day of Friday looms. So I will probably try to make that day fun and light-hearted. No serious talk unless something comes up that warrants it.
(Drunken Fridays)
the weekend is finally upon us, so the topic of the day will most likely be related to partying and drinking or just plain-ole debauchery :)
Weekends are me-time, so unless something major comes up, I won't be blogging.
Now let's see if I can stick to this plan.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Survey #1
1. How old will you be in five years?- 31 freaking years old; officially one year past the grown-up mark! i had better be on my shit by then...
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?- myself and my coworkers... work is fun ;)
3. How tall are you?- 5 feet even... i know cuz i measured
4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?- moving the hell out of my apartment!
5. What's the last movie you saw?- The second Incredible Hulk movie
6. Who is the last person you called?- He who shall not be named
7. Who was the last person to call you?- my Momma
8. What was the last text message you received?- i have no idea. Sidekick got stolen and my cell phone is acting stupid
9. Do you prefer to call or text?- call some folks, text some folks
11. What were you doing at 12am last night?- being a dork and watching the episodes of Bones that i DVRed
12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?- still married, unfortunately
13. When is the last time you saw your mum?- over the Christmas holidays
14. What color are your eyes?- brown
15. What time did you wake up today?- 9ish
16. What are you wearing right now?- a gray slacks and a black t-shirt
17. What's your favorite Christmas song?- i hate christmas music
18. Where is your favorite place to be?- in my bed
19. Where is your least favorite place to be?- at work
20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?- anywhere with my Momma
21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?- i have no idea. hopefully still alive
22. Do you tan or burn?- i tan very easily...very easily, although i got burnt last weekend at the beach (weird!)
23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?- Freddy Kruger
24. What was the last thing that made you laugh?- don't know. but whatever it was, it might not have been too funny. i laugh easily and often
25. How many TVs do you have in your house?- in my apartment, 1. wait...are you casing the joint?
26.How big is your bed?- none of your damned business
27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?- mind your own business
28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?- again with the nosiness
29. What color are your sheets?- currently...baby blue
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?- 4
31. What is your favorite season?- ummmm summer. i live in Miami!
32. What do you like about autumn?- that it stays up north
33. What do you like about winter?- see #32
34. What do you like about the summer- it's year-round baby!
35. What do you like about spring?- see #32
37. What cities/towns have you lived in?- Georgetown, Guyana, South America; Brooklyn, New York; Sheffield, Massachusetts; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Lexington, Kentucky; Miami, Florida
38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?- bare feet (it's the Indian in me)
39. Are you a social person?- sometimes
40. What was the last thing you ate?- does coffee count?
41. What is your favorite restaurant?- prolly this Sushi/Thai place by the j-o-b
42. What is your favorite ice cream?- can't eat ice cream
43. What is your favorite dessert?- cake
44. What is your favorite kind of soup?- dahl and if that doesn't count... tomato basil
45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?- apple
46. Do you like Chinese food?- love it!
47. Do you like coffee?- it is my body's fuel!
48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?- don't you mean bottles? i drink about 3-4
49. What do you drink in the morning?- coffee
50. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?- with someone else, as long as they aren't touching me all the time... i like my space
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?- dead smack in the middle... taking up all the space
52. Do you know how to play poker?- yes... gambling is in my blood ;)
53. Do you like to cuddle?- sometimes, but refer to question #50... i like my space
54. Have you ever been to Canada?- it's my third home ;)
55. Do you have an addictive personality?- is that a way of asking if i am addicted to stuff? if so, then yes
56. Do you eat out or at home more often?- at home but mostly from a box. i'm simple that way
58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?- nope... not a soul. i'm unique that way ;)
59. Do you want kids?- no sirree bob!
60. Do you speak any other languages?- i used to be pretty much fluent in French, but because i stopped speaking it in protest... it went bye-bye. i also speak Guyenese Creole/Patios
61. Have you ever gotten stitches?- i had stitches in my gums when i had my wisdom teeth replaced and i had staples in my leg when i had my ACL reconstructed
62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?- hahaha! plenty of times. i was one of those kids/adults...
63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?- neither... i don't like bodies of water
64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?- aisle
65. Do you know how to drive stick?- heck naw... that requires too much concentration and i think i would move a little too fast on the roads
66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?- shoes and food
67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?- well i used to wear my grandma's wedding ring and my diamond studs but they were stolen. so now i wear my replacement jewelry unless i'm in the bed or in the shower
68. What is your favorite TV show?- CSI
69. Can you roll your tongue?- ummm... stop being nasty
70. Who is the funniest person you know?- i'm thinking Ola-Mae cuz she thinks just like me
71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?- a giant Pooh Bear
72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?- Reppin - Jim Jones (i'm odd)
73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?- heck naw... we donate and pass stuff on in Guyana
WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED TO QUESTIONS # 74 - 84?
85. What was the last book you read?- don't know but it was prolly something murder related
88. Best phrase?--- - "how 'bout y'all kiss my ass?"
89.Who was the last person you texted?- don't know, Sidekick is gone
90.What pets do you own?- ummm i don't like animals
91.Have you ever been on a plane?- yes, but i don't like to fly
92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you?- Sophia and Vanessa
93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?- something about my students, voicmail maybe
94. What is your favorite candle scent?- lavender
95. What is your favorite board game?- Cranium
96. Where do you attend church?- i don't. i am the Devil's Spawn according to certain folks...
97. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?- not one stinking day
AGAIN WITH THE MISSING QUESTIONS...
100. Who was the last person to do something extra special for u?- "he who shall not be named" made me feel good about myself, like he always does when he's not being an ass!
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?- myself and my coworkers... work is fun ;)
3. How tall are you?- 5 feet even... i know cuz i measured
4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?- moving the hell out of my apartment!
5. What's the last movie you saw?- The second Incredible Hulk movie
6. Who is the last person you called?- He who shall not be named
7. Who was the last person to call you?- my Momma
8. What was the last text message you received?- i have no idea. Sidekick got stolen and my cell phone is acting stupid
9. Do you prefer to call or text?- call some folks, text some folks
11. What were you doing at 12am last night?- being a dork and watching the episodes of Bones that i DVRed
12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?- still married, unfortunately
13. When is the last time you saw your mum?- over the Christmas holidays
14. What color are your eyes?- brown
15. What time did you wake up today?- 9ish
16. What are you wearing right now?- a gray slacks and a black t-shirt
17. What's your favorite Christmas song?- i hate christmas music
18. Where is your favorite place to be?- in my bed
19. Where is your least favorite place to be?- at work
20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?- anywhere with my Momma
21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?- i have no idea. hopefully still alive
22. Do you tan or burn?- i tan very easily...very easily, although i got burnt last weekend at the beach (weird!)
23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?- Freddy Kruger
24. What was the last thing that made you laugh?- don't know. but whatever it was, it might not have been too funny. i laugh easily and often
25. How many TVs do you have in your house?- in my apartment, 1. wait...are you casing the joint?
26.How big is your bed?- none of your damned business
27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?- mind your own business
28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?- again with the nosiness
29. What color are your sheets?- currently...baby blue
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?- 4
31. What is your favorite season?- ummmm summer. i live in Miami!
32. What do you like about autumn?- that it stays up north
33. What do you like about winter?- see #32
34. What do you like about the summer- it's year-round baby!
35. What do you like about spring?- see #32
37. What cities/towns have you lived in?- Georgetown, Guyana, South America; Brooklyn, New York; Sheffield, Massachusetts; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Lexington, Kentucky; Miami, Florida
38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?- bare feet (it's the Indian in me)
39. Are you a social person?- sometimes
40. What was the last thing you ate?- does coffee count?
41. What is your favorite restaurant?- prolly this Sushi/Thai place by the j-o-b
42. What is your favorite ice cream?- can't eat ice cream
43. What is your favorite dessert?- cake
44. What is your favorite kind of soup?- dahl and if that doesn't count... tomato basil
45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?- apple
46. Do you like Chinese food?- love it!
47. Do you like coffee?- it is my body's fuel!
48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?- don't you mean bottles? i drink about 3-4
49. What do you drink in the morning?- coffee
50. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?- with someone else, as long as they aren't touching me all the time... i like my space
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?- dead smack in the middle... taking up all the space
52. Do you know how to play poker?- yes... gambling is in my blood ;)
53. Do you like to cuddle?- sometimes, but refer to question #50... i like my space
54. Have you ever been to Canada?- it's my third home ;)
55. Do you have an addictive personality?- is that a way of asking if i am addicted to stuff? if so, then yes
56. Do you eat out or at home more often?- at home but mostly from a box. i'm simple that way
58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?- nope... not a soul. i'm unique that way ;)
59. Do you want kids?- no sirree bob!
60. Do you speak any other languages?- i used to be pretty much fluent in French, but because i stopped speaking it in protest... it went bye-bye. i also speak Guyenese Creole/Patios
61. Have you ever gotten stitches?- i had stitches in my gums when i had my wisdom teeth replaced and i had staples in my leg when i had my ACL reconstructed
62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?- hahaha! plenty of times. i was one of those kids/adults...
63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?- neither... i don't like bodies of water
64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?- aisle
65. Do you know how to drive stick?- heck naw... that requires too much concentration and i think i would move a little too fast on the roads
66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?- shoes and food
67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?- well i used to wear my grandma's wedding ring and my diamond studs but they were stolen. so now i wear my replacement jewelry unless i'm in the bed or in the shower
68. What is your favorite TV show?- CSI
69. Can you roll your tongue?- ummm... stop being nasty
70. Who is the funniest person you know?- i'm thinking Ola-Mae cuz she thinks just like me
71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?- a giant Pooh Bear
72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?- Reppin - Jim Jones (i'm odd)
73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?- heck naw... we donate and pass stuff on in Guyana
WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED TO QUESTIONS # 74 - 84?
85. What was the last book you read?- don't know but it was prolly something murder related
88. Best phrase?--- - "how 'bout y'all kiss my ass?"
89.Who was the last person you texted?- don't know, Sidekick is gone
90.What pets do you own?- ummm i don't like animals
91.Have you ever been on a plane?- yes, but i don't like to fly
92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you?- Sophia and Vanessa
93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?- something about my students, voicmail maybe
94. What is your favorite candle scent?- lavender
95. What is your favorite board game?- Cranium
96. Where do you attend church?- i don't. i am the Devil's Spawn according to certain folks...
97. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?- not one stinking day
AGAIN WITH THE MISSING QUESTIONS...
100. Who was the last person to do something extra special for u?- "he who shall not be named" made me feel good about myself, like he always does when he's not being an ass!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
6 things about ME!
I have issues. This is a running joke, but it’s kind of true. I hate enclosed spaces for long periods of time. I have panic/anxiety attacks. I tend to freak out when I am overwhelmed. I can get real quiet when something is on my mind, but that just means that I need some time to figure things out… it doesn’t mean, “let’s harass Melissa until she tells us what’s wrong”. I do have a bit of a self esteem-problem, but what non-size-2 through 6 female hasn’t at one point or another.
I have a Napoleonic Complex. I have been a short person all my life. My entire family, on both sides, is short. I have always wanted to be tall but it wasn’t in the cards. My goal for my children, if I have them, is for them to be tall. I intend to breed with a tall individual whose family genes will override mine. If you see me with a short man, smack me.
I am the nicest person you may probably ever meet in this life, next to somebody’s momma of course. I just play tough, I swear. I am the kind of person that bends over backwards for the people in my life. I take care of people. It may be seen as a fault to many, but to me it’s natural. It must be the mothering side of my Zodiac. I’m the problem-solver/fixer, the back-rubber, the hug-giver… whatever, you get the point.
I can be the nastiest person you will ever meet in this life (I’m working on that side of me – work in progress). If by some chance you piss me off, I’m not nice anymore. I used to be a real spiteful b**** but I think I have grown past that and although it threatens to come to the surface sometimes, I can usually control it. I don’t haul off and cuss people out anymore, except on the highways. I give a mean side-eye and occasionally a side-mouth when warranted.
I am a lover, not a fighter. I have a loud voice and I use it often. People hear that and the Brooklyn-girl attitude and assume that I am a bad-a$$. I’m not saying I’m not, but I try to behave myself on an everyday basis. It takes a lot to make me lose my cool where I just want to haul off and smack somebody, which I haven’t done in a long time. I love hugs and kisses. I try to resolve situations through peaceful means first. Don’t get it twisted, I will put it down if need be, but I’m grown enough to get locked up and have the key thrown away and most of my friends don’t have enough money to get me out on bail after a murder charge.
I am addicted to cute things. I spend a LOT of money in the discount aisle at Target. I have a collection of multipurpose greeting cards, note-cards, envelopes and stationary at my desk. I have pens and markers in every imaginable color in my desk drawer. I collect cute stuffed animals, and have some on my shelf here at work. I actively use crayons. I have a Happy Bunny Calendar, socks and t-shirts. I have a piggy bang that is shaped like a monkey’s head. All those are in addition to the Fortune Cookie 8-ball and the action figures.
I have a Napoleonic Complex. I have been a short person all my life. My entire family, on both sides, is short. I have always wanted to be tall but it wasn’t in the cards. My goal for my children, if I have them, is for them to be tall. I intend to breed with a tall individual whose family genes will override mine. If you see me with a short man, smack me.
I am the nicest person you may probably ever meet in this life, next to somebody’s momma of course. I just play tough, I swear. I am the kind of person that bends over backwards for the people in my life. I take care of people. It may be seen as a fault to many, but to me it’s natural. It must be the mothering side of my Zodiac. I’m the problem-solver/fixer, the back-rubber, the hug-giver… whatever, you get the point.
I can be the nastiest person you will ever meet in this life (I’m working on that side of me – work in progress). If by some chance you piss me off, I’m not nice anymore. I used to be a real spiteful b**** but I think I have grown past that and although it threatens to come to the surface sometimes, I can usually control it. I don’t haul off and cuss people out anymore, except on the highways. I give a mean side-eye and occasionally a side-mouth when warranted.
I am a lover, not a fighter. I have a loud voice and I use it often. People hear that and the Brooklyn-girl attitude and assume that I am a bad-a$$. I’m not saying I’m not, but I try to behave myself on an everyday basis. It takes a lot to make me lose my cool where I just want to haul off and smack somebody, which I haven’t done in a long time. I love hugs and kisses. I try to resolve situations through peaceful means first. Don’t get it twisted, I will put it down if need be, but I’m grown enough to get locked up and have the key thrown away and most of my friends don’t have enough money to get me out on bail after a murder charge.
I am addicted to cute things. I spend a LOT of money in the discount aisle at Target. I have a collection of multipurpose greeting cards, note-cards, envelopes and stationary at my desk. I have pens and markers in every imaginable color in my desk drawer. I collect cute stuffed animals, and have some on my shelf here at work. I actively use crayons. I have a Happy Bunny Calendar, socks and t-shirts. I have a piggy bang that is shaped like a monkey’s head. All those are in addition to the Fortune Cookie 8-ball and the action figures.
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