how i'm feeling right now?

i can't put it into words, so i am gonna use what i know best... music.

sometimes i wish i could fly away
looking for a place to getaway
get away from all the heartache and pain
that life can bring
i really don't wanna sound
like i can't stand my ground
but everybody need some time
that they can getaway...
~Monica, Getaway

As long as I'm living
I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing
I'll be there
Whenever you call me
I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me
I'll be there
~Lenny Kravitz, I'll Be Waiting

I knew I hadn't met my match,
But every moment we could snatch,
I don't know why I got so attached,
It's my responsibility,
And you don't owe nothing to me,
But to walk away I have no capacity
~Amy Winehouse, Tears Dry On Their Own

I know what we have is dead and gone.
Too many times I made you cry.
And I don't mean to interupt your life.
I just wonder do I cross your mind?
~Ne-Yo, Do You?

for your love
I would do anything
Just to see the smile upon your face
For your love
I would go anywhere
Just you tell me and I’ll be right there
~Stevie Wonder, For Your Love

Tell me baby, did I push you away
Was I coming on to strong for you
Why can't you tell me, tell me what am I supposed to do
~Mary J. Blige, Changes I've Been Going Through

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.
~Michael Buble, Everything

yeah... it's like that right about now. but i have resolved to move on, alone. there are other things i can be spending my time and energy on. least of all a man who continuously sucks me in and then makes me hurt all over again.

i know it's going to hurt, but i have to do it. for my sanity. for my health. and most of all, so my heart can heal and bewhole again.