things that make me mad on an everyday basis...

-the Century Village (old people) that share the floor with my department. for many reasons.
1) why do they think it's appropriate to stand in front of the one microwave to have conversations? you are blocking the path to the coffee-maker and you're not even using the damned microwave! when i say excuse me, get the fuck out of the way. don't stare at me like i'm speaking Swahili or some other shit. I am about to put up a damned sign in the kitchen and hold mofos to that shit.
2) why do you feel the need to shush me and my coworkers on a daily basis? unlike your asses, we enjoy our jobs and have fun doing them. we are still young and still have lots of energy, so we don't want to pretend that we work in a library and have to fricking whisper every conversation we have with each other or our students.
3) when walking down the hallway, don't walk down the middle! we will treat the traffic areas the same way we do driving. keep to the fucking right and move along with the flow and speed of traffic! if one more damned old person cuts me off and moves at a pace slower than a snail, i swear i will run someone over. if you can't keep up, get the fuck out of my way (thanks Luda for the "move bitch" mentality!

-if one more person walks by my desk and asks me, "what do you guys do?" i am going to snap. since you are so involved with minding my damned business, read my fucking nameplate and tell me what it says. better yet, read it and keep that shit to yourself or pass the information along so another one of the retards doesn't ask me the same fucking question in about 15 minutes! we have been sharing the floor for 4 months now, so what you are basically telling me is that you haven't been paying attention or that your hearing aid volume is not turned up high enough and do me another favor, don't walk past me desk, back up and stare at me through the damned window. it is creepy and annoying. i am sure i'm not the first Negro you have seen that can speak proper english!

-please learn how to park between the little white lines! boy if i had my truck still, that shit wouldn't bother me. the bitch was paid off and i wouldn't mind a few "parking" scratches. plus my baby could take a licking and keep it moving. now, with the car, i have to drive to a whole different floor, to avoid your old asses who don't want to walk to the third floor. i'd better not find a fucking scratch on my car cuz you can't see over the steering wheel and don't know how to correct your parking mistakes without hitting something.

-the people who get all shocked and appalled when they find out that i smoke. yes i have to have my nicotine fixes. yes i know it's bad for my health. but since they won't let me drink on the job, i have to find another "work-appropriate" vice. if you don't like it, keep it to yourself or just don't speak to me. the day i find a stop smoking pamphlet on my desk, i'm going off.

that's all i can think of right now. i need a fix of nicotine before i go to bed.